Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and clear: use a direct topic sentence, avoid unclear jargon (e.g., “PNS mode”) and unnecessary repetition. Then add one brief reason with a linking word. Aim for 2–3 sentences, varied vocabulary, and precise phrasing.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired, especially during and after work. For example, long hours at my desk and constant concentration drain my energy, so I usually need a short break to recover.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and give specific examples linked logically. Avoid repeating the same phrase; use linking words such as “also” or “besides.” Be specific about timing and reasons.

예시: I usually feel tired right after finishing work because I’ve been concentrating for many hours. I also get tired when my cat is very active, for instance, if she wakes me up at night or makes a mess that I have to tidy up.

제안: Provide a clear main action and then one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., “for example,” “also”). Avoid vague phrases like “alarm time” and complete sentences. Mention concrete recovery strategies and why they help.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap to restore my energy. I also eat a healthy snack like fruit or a sandwich, and sometimes I set a timer for 20 minutes to make sure I wake up refreshed.

× Yes, I often feel tired, especially when I'm in my PNS mode right now so I feel very tired and when I'm working, I feel very tired too.

✓ Yes, I often feel tired, especially when I'm in my PNS mode, so I feel very tired; I also feel very tired when I'm working.

The original sentence repeats 'I feel very tired' and uses informal connectors; it's a present tense context so keep present continuous and simple present consistent. Combine clauses with appropriate punctuation and conjunctions to avoid run-on. Suggestion: avoid redundant phrases and use commas/semicolons to separate ideas. Grammar problem type ID:6

× When I get done after my work, I usually feel tired and then when my cat is very active I usually feel tired because she likes to destroy some of my stuff.

✓ When I am done with my work, I usually feel tired, and I also feel tired when my cat is very active because she likes to destroy some of my things.

'Get done after my work' is an incorrect verb phrase for finishing work; use 'am done with my work' (present tense habitual). Maintain present simple for habitual actions. 'Stuff' is informal; 'things' is clearer. Also add commas to separate clauses. Grammar problem type ID:5

× When I feel tired, I like to rest and get some sleep or maybe I need some alarm time too when I feel tired get my energy up and eat what my favourite meals

✓ When I feel tired, I like to rest and get some sleep, or I might set an alarm to help me wake up and eat my favourite meals to regain energy.

The original is a run-on with unclear phrasing 'need some alarm time' and missing connectors; restructure to parallel actions and clarify purpose. Use 'might set an alarm' or 'set an alarm' for intent, and 'eat my favourite meals to regain energy' completes the idea. This fixes sentence structure and clarity. Grammar problem type ID:26