Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons or an example. Avoid hesitations and errors in grammar (use present perfect/simple present appropriately) and replace vague phrases with precise words.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired, which sometimes worries me because I fear it might be a health issue or a vitamin deficiency. For example, I once visited a doctor who ran tests and reassured me that everything was fine, so now I try to focus on sleep and diet instead.

제안: Give a clear, direct topic sentence and follow with specific details and a linking word. Avoid vague or fragmented sentences; explain cause or effect briefly and coherently.

예시: I usually feel most tired in the morning when I first wake up. As a result, I struggle to concentrate and my productivity suffers for the rest of the day, so I try to nap or have a strong breakfast to recover.

제안: Answer directly and use correct vocabulary and grammar. State your preferred action then give a brief reason and one specific detail about how you do it. Replace incorrect words (e.g., 'cafe', 'caffeine in caffeine') and reduce repetition.

예시: I usually drink coffee when I feel tired because the caffeine helps me feel more alert. For instance, I make a strong espresso at home in the morning and it usually gives me enough energy to get started.

× But uh, when I got to doctor he said all things is OK.

✓ But uh, when I went to the doctor he said everything was OK.

Original errors: 'got to doctor' is unnatural; use 'went to the doctor'. 'all things is OK' has two problems: 'all things' is unnatural here (use 'everything') and subject-verb agreement for past tense requires 'was' not 'is'. This falls under incorrect past participle / verb forms and sentence structure. Suggestion: Use 'went' for past action and match past tense with 'was'.

× Unfortunately, the exact time I really feel tired, it's about when I get up in the morning at the first times of the day and it's destroyed my whole day.

✓ Unfortunately, the time I usually feel tired is when I get up in the morning, and it ruins my whole day.

Errors: 'the exact time I really feel tired' is awkward; 'it's about when I get up' is wordy; 'at the first times of the day' is incorrect phrasing; 'it's destroyed my whole day' mixes tenses and uses wrong verb form. This is a present tense and sentence structure issue. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual actions ('I usually feel', 'it ruins') and concise time expression ('when I get up in the morning').

× Because when you start a new day with tiredness, all things.

✓ Because when you start a new day tired, everything is affected.

Errors: Sentence fragment 'all things' lacks a verb and is unclear. Also 'with tiredness' is wordy; use adjective 'tired'. This falls under verb -ing/present participle and sentence structure problems. Suggestion: Complete the sentence with a verb and use concise phrasing ('everything is affected' or 'it affects everything').

× I usually prefer to drink cafe for myself or even make it in home because I think caffeine in caffeine can make me more energetic for a start the day and I usually test it more than others way.

✓ I usually prefer to drink coffee myself or even make it at home because I think caffeine can make me more energetic at the start of the day, and I usually try this more than other methods.

Multiple errors: 'drink cafe' should be 'drink coffee' (word choice); 'for myself' is unnecessary; 'make it in home' should be 'make it at home' (preposition error); 'caffeine in caffeine' is redundant; 'for a start the day' should be 'at the start of the day'; 'test it more than others way' is ungrammatical—use 'try this more than other methods'. These are quantifier, preposition, word choice, and sentence structure issues. Suggestion: Use correct nouns ('coffee'), correct prepositions ('at home','at the start of the day'), avoid redundancy, and use 'try' for attempting methods.