Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 문장 구조와 시제 사용이 혼재되어 있어 답변이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 먼저 명확한 주제문으로 시작하고, 운동 시간과 생활습관을 구체적으로 숫자와 연결해 설명하세요. 불필요한 반복(uh, and my and)과 문장 단절을 줄이기 위해 연결어와 간결한 문장을 사용하세요. 예: 현재/일상에 대해 말할 때는 현재형을 일관되게 사용하고, 구체적인 시간 표현(예: I exercise for 1–2 hours every day)과 아침 식사 여부를 한 문장으로 정리하면 더 자연스럽습니다.

예시: I don't often feel tired because I exercise regularly and have a consistent morning routine. I usually exercise for about an hour to two hours each day, and I wake up early to have a proper breakfast, which helps me stay energetic throughout the day.

제안: 내용 전달이 불명확하고 단어 선택(’wars’, ’words’)이 잘못되었습니다. 질문에 직접 답하면서 구체적 상황(예: 과제, 시험 준비, 긴 근무 시간 등)을 제시하고 이유를 덧붙이세요. 연결어로 원인과 결과를 분명히 하며, 단어 선택을 정확히 하세요. 또한 문장을 간결하게 유지하고 최대 3문장 내로 요약하세요.

예시: I usually feel tired when I have too many assignments and exams at the same time. Because I need to finish all my coursework and study for tests, I often have long study sessions that leave me exhausted. For example, during exam weeks I sometimes study late into the night.

제안: 동사 형태와 표현이 부정확합니다(‘walking around’, ‘make out my mind comfortable’). 행동을 먼저 밝히고, 이유와 지속 시간을 구체적으로 설명하세요. 예를 들어 ‘take a short nap’ 혹은 ‘go for a walk’와 같이 자연스러운 표현을 사용하고, 지속 시간(예: 20–30 minutes)을 제시하면 더 좋아 보입니다. 마지막에 문장을 완결하여 말을 멈추지 마세요.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap or go for a walk outside to clear my mind. I find that a 20 to 30-minute nap or a brief walk helps me feel refreshed and more focused afterwards.

× Uh, I didn't feel tired often because first of all, I exercise all the day.

✓ I don't feel tired often because, first of all, I exercise all day.

The student used past tense 'didn't feel' while describing a habitual present situation; use present simple 'don't feel'. Also use 'exercise all day' instead of 'all the day' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Use present simple for habits (I don't feel, I exercise).

× Uh, one day is about one hour, half to two hours and my and I wake up earlier than other people.

✓ Usually I exercise for about half an hour to two hours a day, and I wake up earlier than other people.

Original sentence has poor word order and mixed time expressions. Place duration after the verb: 'exercise for about half an hour to two hours a day'. Also remove duplicated words. Suggestion: Put adverbials and duration phrases in a clear order: frequency/time + duration + place.

× So yeah, eat breakfast.

✓ So yeah, I eat breakfast.

Missing subject 'I' makes this a fragment. Add the subject to make a complete sentence. Suggestion: Always include subject with verbs in full responses.

× I feel tired when. There's too many wars to do and study for the university.

✓ I feel tired when there are too many tasks to do and I have to study for university.

'There's' (there is) is singular but refers to 'many tasks', so use 'there are'. Also 'wars' is incorrect word choice; use 'tasks' or 'work'. Ensure parallel structure: 'too many tasks to do and I have to study'. Suggestion: Match 'there is/are' to the number of the noun and use correct vocabulary.

× Yeah, because I need to finish that words and study from my exam, so it's really tough to make all of it.

✓ Yeah, because I need to finish those words and study for my exam, so it's really tough to get it all done.

Use 'those' for plural 'words' and 'study for my exam' (not 'from'). 'Make all of it' is unnatural; use 'get it all done'. Suggestion: Use correct preposition 'for' with 'study', and natural phrasal verbs like 'get (something) done'.

× When I feel tired, I usually take a nap or walking around outside to make out my mind comfortable.

✓ When I feel tired, I usually take a nap or walk around outside to clear my mind and feel comfortable.

After 'or' use base verb 'walk' to match 'take' (parallel structure). 'Make out my mind comfortable' is ungrammatical; use 'clear my mind' and 'feel comfortable'. Suggestion: Keep verbs parallel and use idiomatic phrases like 'clear my mind'.

× Yeah, about 01 to two hours too many can be very lazy to us so I just.

✓ Yeah, about one to two hours can make us very lazy, so I don't usually nap that long.

'01' is incorrect numeric format; use 'one'. 'Too many' doesn't fit with time; use 'too long' or 'can make us very lazy'. The original sentence is also incomplete; complete it to express the idea. Suggestion: Use correct quantifiers for time (one to two hours) and finish sentences with a clear verb phrase.