Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise, correct grammar, and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words. Fix verb and adjective mistakes (e.g., "things easily tie tiring" and "effortlessly exhausted").

예시: Yes, I often feel tired, especially after doing homework. For example, studying for exams requires a lot of concentration and energy, and because I must focus on many small details, I usually feel drained afterwards.

제안: Answer directly and avoid vague phrases. Use a clear topic sentence and then give a specific situation with reasons and a linking phrase (e.g., "because" or "so"). Correct singular/plural and word choice ("a little details" → "small details").

예시: I usually feel tired when I do homework, because it requires sustained concentration and careful attention to small details. As a result, I often become mentally exhausted after long study sessions.

제안: This answer is clear and relevant but needs slight grammar improvements and a linking structure. Begin with a topic sentence, then add a short explanation of why the activity helps and give a specific example. Use correct verb forms ("like to take") and consistent time phrasing.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a short break for two to five minutes to relax. This brief rest helps me clear my mind and restore my energy, so I can return to the task more focused and productive.

× Yes, normally I often find things easily tie tiring and exhausting, especially when when I am doing my homework, because I need a lot of energy and I have to focus on a lot of details and therefore I often feel really effortlessly exhausted.

✓ Yes, I often find things tiring and exhausting, especially when I am doing my homework, because I need a lot of energy and have to focus on many details; therefore I often feel exhausted.

The sentence contains several problems: redundant adverbs ('normally I often'), incorrect word choice ('easily tie' is meaningless), repeated word ('when when'), and awkward adverb ('effortlessly exhausted' is contradictory). Keep one frequency adverb ('often'), remove the incorrect fragment, fix repetition, and use 'many details' (quantifier) and 'feel exhausted' without contradictory adverb. Suggestion: streamline sentences and use appropriate adjectives/adverbs.

× There's a lot of cases when I can feel tired and shift.

✓ There are a lot of cases when I can feel tired and stressed.

Subject 'a lot of cases' is plural, so use 'there are' not 'there's'. Also 'shift' is incorrect in this context; likely meant 'stressed'. Use plural verb agreement and correct word choice.

× Among those could be when I am doing my homework because I need a lot of energy as well as I have to focus on just a little details on my assignments.

✓ Among those are times when I am doing my homework because I need a lot of energy and have to focus on the small details of my assignments.

Problems: incorrect structure 'Among those could be when' (awkward), redundant 'as well as I have to', incorrect quantifier 'a little details' (mixes singular quantifier with plural noun), and wrong preposition 'on my assignments' should be 'of my assignments'. Use 'times' to match plural idea, 'small details of my assignments', and simpler coordination 'and have to'.

× Therefore, I often feel really exhausted and tedious when doing homework.

✓ Therefore, I often feel really exhausted and bored when doing homework.

'Tedious' describes something that causes boredom, not a feeling. Use an adjective that describes the student's state ('bored') rather than the task. 'Exhausted and bored' correctly describes feelings.

× Whenever I'm not in the mood for doing something, I often like take a breath for two or five minutes so that I can recharge my energy and tackle the problem more easily.

✓ Whenever I'm not in the mood to do something, I often like to take a breath for two to five minutes so I can recharge and tackle the problem more easily.

Errors: incorrect verb pattern 'in the mood for doing' should be 'in the mood to do', missing 'to' after 'like' ('like to take'), and 'two or five minutes' is better expressed 'two to five minutes'. Also 'recharge my energy' is wordy; 'recharge' alone or 'recharge my energy' is acceptable—here simplified. Use correct infinitive forms and consistent time expression.