Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more natural: state directly how often you feel tired, correct grammar, avoid redundancy, and keep to 2–3 sentences. Use linking words to connect causes and solutions. Also use more precise vocabulary (e.g. assignments, extracurricular activities) and correct verb forms.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired during the school year because I have many assignments and extracurricular activities. However, I try to manage my time better and get enough sleep so I can stay energetic.

제안: Give a clear time frame and specific activities, fix grammar and word choice, and avoid fragmented or incorrect phrases. Use linking words (for example, because/so) to explain reasons and effects. Keep to 1–2 complete sentences.

예시: I usually feel tired in the evenings after several hours of lessons and club activities because I’ve been concentrating all day, so I feel mentally and physically drained.

제안: Use present tense and clearer vocabulary, correct collocations (have lunch, nutritious food, short nap), remove unclear numbers, and give concise reasons. Limit to 2–3 sentences and add a linking word to show result.

예시: I usually take a short nap or eat a nutritious lunch because good food and a 20–30 minute rest help me regain energy and feel refreshed.

× I have a lot of school walks and homeworks projects to do and I tried to be more energetic by managing my time efficiently to get enough sleep every day.

✓ I have a lot of schoolwork and homework projects to do, and I try to be more energetic by managing my time efficiently to get enough sleep every day.

The student used plural forms incorrectly: 'school walks' should be 'schoolwork' (uncountable) and 'homeworks projects' is incorrect; 'homework' is uncountable, so use 'homework projects' or simply 'homework'. Also 'I tried' conflicts with habitual context; use present simple 'I try' to match 'during the school year' (habitual action). Avoid mixing past tense with present habitual context.

× I feel tired, especially during the evenings after a long hour of S lessons and club works.

✓ I feel tired, especially in the evenings after a long hour of S lessons and club activities.

Use 'in the evenings' rather than 'during the evenings' for frequency. 'Club works' is incorrect; use 'club activities' or 'club work'. 'A long hour' is awkward; if one hour, say 'after a long hour' is acceptable but better to say 'after many hours' or 'after a long day'; here kept as 'after a long hour' but corrected collocation for 'club activities'.

× I feel terribly exhausting and want to give.

✓ I feel terribly exhausted and want to give up.

The student used the adjective/adverb incorrectly: 'exhausting' describes something that causes tiredness, while 'exhausted' describes feeling tired. 'Terribly' can modify 'exhausted'. Also the verb is incomplete: 'want to give' should be 'want to give up' to express wanting to stop or quit.

× I tried to take a little nap or have a lunch because I believe that nutrition food gives you energy and also 2230 naps can make you feel refreshed.

✓ I try to take a short nap or have lunch because I believe that nutritious food gives you energy, and short naps can also make you feel refreshed.

The original mixes past tense 'I tried' with present belief 'I believe'; use present tense 'I try' for habitual actions. 'Have a lunch' is incorrect article usage; say 'have lunch'. 'Nutrition food' is wrong collocation; use 'nutritious food'. '2230 naps' appears to be a typo; replace with 'short naps' or '20–30-minute naps' if intended. Reorder 'also' for natural flow.