Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, avoid filler words (uh, you know, like), correct verb forms, and use a clearer reason. Also limit to 2–3 sentences and add one specific detail to make the answer more convincing.

예시: Yes, I do. I often feel tired after long hours of programming, and especially when I study for exams like the IELTS or SAT because solving difficult math problems and thinking abstractly drains my energy.

제안: Answer directly with a clear time or situation and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect reasons and give one specific example of a situation (time of day or task) to show clarity. Keep to 2–3 sentences and correct small grammar errors (e.g., 'when I feel').

예시: I usually feel most tired in the evening after a full day of programming and study. For example, after several hours of debugging code and then switching to SAT practice problems, I find my concentration drops and I feel exhausted.

제안: Give a clear, structured response with 2–3 sentences describing specific restorative activities and a brief reason why they help. Remove disfluencies and be precise about timing and actions. Use linking words like 'then' or 'after that' to show sequence.

예시: I usually turn off my laptop and go for a short walk to clear my head. After that I come home, rest for a short while, and then return to studying with a fresh mind.

× Yeah, honestly, like everyone, I often get tired after working as a programmer, you know, and especially when I preparing for IELTS exam or SAT exam, I often get tired solving math problems and syncing abstractly.

✓ Yeah, honestly, like everyone, I often get tired after working as a programmer, you know, and especially when I am preparing for the IELTS or SAT exams; I often get tired solving math problems and thinking abstractly.

The sentence contains a present tense/form error: 'when I preparing' is missing the auxiliary verb 'am' for the present continuous ('when I am preparing'), and 'IELTS exam or SAT exam' should be pluralized and use articles appropriately ('the IELTS or SAT exams'). Also 'syncing abstractly' is incorrect word choice; 'thinking abstractly' fits the intended meaning. Suggestion: Use correct auxiliary verbs for continuous tenses, include articles before named exams, pluralize when referring to exams in general, and choose appropriate verbs.

× So as I said, they're all umm, I get tired after working as a programmer, after solving math problems in order to prepare for SAT exam and, uh, thinking uh, abstractly when, uh, I feel less prepared and that's all.

✓ So, as I said, it's all, umm, I get tired after working as a programmer, after solving math problems in order to prepare for the SAT exam, and when I have to think abstractly if I feel less prepared, and that's all.

The original had issues with pronoun reference and tense/structure: 'they're all' is inappropriate for a singular situation; 'it's all' or 'that's all' is better. Also 'prepare for SAT exam' needs the article 'the' before the exam name. 'Thinking abstractly when I feel less prepared' is rephrased to 'when I have to think abstractly if I feel less prepared' for clarity. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns correctly refer to the intended subject and include necessary articles for exams; restructure clauses for clarity.

× When I feel tired, uh, I turn my laptop off and go out, uh, in order to refresh my brain and uh, come back my home and start solving my problems and preparing for my, uh, uh, coming exams, uh, that's all.

✓ When I feel tired, I turn my laptop off and go out to refresh my brain, then come back home and start solving my problems and preparing for my upcoming exams; that's all.

Errors include incorrect use of 'come back my home' which should be 'come back home' (no possessive), and 'coming exams' is unnatural; use 'upcoming exams'. Also streamline filler words and use 'go out to refresh' instead of 'go out, in order to refresh my brain and uh, come back my home'. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary fillers, use correct idiomatic expressions ('come back home'), and use 'upcoming' for future scheduled events.