Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は直接で分かりやすいですが、文法ミスと語順の不自然さ、冠詞や動詞形の誤りがあります。また具体性はあるものの冗長な表現が混ざっています。改善ポイント：1) 主語と動詞の一致、冠詞（a/the）の使用、動名詞と不定詞の使い分けを修正する。2) 文を簡潔にして1〜2文に収める。3) 例を述べる際には接続語（for example → such as / especially）を適切に使う。

예시: Yes, I often feel tired, especially when I have to write long reports or prepare a presentation for the next day.

제안: この答えは繰り返しや言いよどみ、語彙の誤用（climbed, leopard など）が目立ち、意味が不明瞭です。改善ポイント：1) 不要な繰り返しやフィラー（uh, and）を減らす。2) 適切な語彙（busy, hectic, long shift, long day など）を使う。3) 論理的に並べ、接続詞（and, also, for example）で整理する。

예시: I usually feel tired when my schedule is very busy or hectic, for example after a long day at work and before an important presentation.

제안: 内容は明確で理由も述べられていますが、語法（get long sleep）、繰り返し表現、文の長さがやや長すぎます。改善ポイント：1) ネイティブらしい表現（get a good/long sleep, get some rest）を使う。2) 文を2文に分け、接続詞を適切に使う。3) 具体的な方法（nap, exercise, short walk）を一つ追加すると説得力が増す。

예시: When I feel tired, I try to get a good night's sleep to recover my energy and clear my mind. I also sometimes take a short nap or go for a brief walk to refresh myself before the next day.

× I often feel tired, for example when I have to write long report or having presentation next day.

✓ I often feel tired, for example when I have to write a long report or have a presentation the next day.

The sentence mixes infinitive and gerund forms incorrectly. Use parallel verb forms: 'have to write' (infinitive) should be matched with 'have' (not 'having'). Also add the article 'a' before 'long report' and 'the' before 'next day' to specify time. Suggestion: maintain parallel structure and use correct articles: 'have to write a long report or have a presentation the next day.'

× I feel tired when I when my schedule is, uh, climbed and for example when I have a a long leopard and and the presentation next day.

✓ I feel tired when my schedule is crowded, for example when I have a long deadline and a presentation the next day.

This sentence has several issues: repetition ('when I when'), incorrect verb/word choice ('climbed' is incorrect; 'crowded' or 'busy' fits), and incorrect noun 'leopard' likely meant 'deadline'. Also remove duplicated words ('a a', 'and and'). Use 'a presentation the next day' with article 'a' and 'the next day' for time reference. Suggestion: plan sentences before speaking, choose accurate vocabulary, and avoid repeating words.

× When I feel tired I try to get long sleep because if I get long sleep I can recover my energy and also I can refresh my brain so in the next day I can do my best.

✓ When I feel tired I try to get a long sleep because if I get enough sleep I can recover my energy and also refresh my brain so the next day I can do my best.

'Long sleep' is unnatural and missing the indefinite article 'a'; more natural is 'a long sleep' or better 'enough sleep'. 'In the next day' is incorrect; use 'the next day'. Also avoid repeating 'I' unnecessarily: 'and also I can refresh' -> 'and also refresh'. Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'enough sleep' and correct articles/times: 'the next day'.