Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid redundant phrases and fix verb tense and article errors (e.g., "I didn't sleep" → "I haven't been sleeping"; "the of the application" → "the application").

예시: Yes, I have been feeling tired recently. Mainly because I haven't been sleeping well at night and I'm stressed about several things: preparing my PhD application and dealing with problems at work and in my relationship. As a result, I often feel worn out during the day.

제안: Start with a clear direct answer, then give a specific example and use linking words. Correct collocations and phrasing (e.g., "feel tired when I get up" is fine, but say "most tired after working" and replace "comes from a lot of energies" with "comes from expending a lot of energy").

예시: I often feel tired as soon as I wake up, but I'm usually most exhausted after work. Because my job involves research, I spend long hours brainstorming and doing experiments, which uses up a lot of energy and leaves me drained.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence, then two specific strategies with connective words. Fix language issues: "give a short talk with my friends" → "have a short chat with friends"; "reset my brains" → "clear my mind"; "fulfill my energy" → "recharge my energy". Keep within 3–4 sentences.

예시: When I'm tired, I usually stop working and have a short chat with friends or take a walk on the balcony. These breaks help me clear my mind and recharge my energy. After a ten- or fifteen-minute pause I can usually return to my tasks feeling more focused.

× Yeah, recently I often feel tired because I didn't sleep well at night and also I'm a little bit stressful for too many things right now.

✓ Yeah, recently I have often felt tired because I haven't slept well at night and I'm a bit stressed about too many things right now.

The sentence mixes simple past and present contexts. Use present perfect (have often felt, haven't slept) to connect recent past with the present. 'I'm a little bit stressful' is incorrect because 'stressful' describes something that causes stress; the correct adjective for a person is 'stressed'. Suggestion: Use present perfect for recent experiences that affect the present and use 'stressed' for personal state.

× So I need to prepare the of the application of PhD program and also the workings and my relationship with my girlfriend.

✓ So I need to prepare the application for the PhD program, manage my work, and deal with my relationship with my girlfriend.

The original sentence has missing words ('prepare the of the application') and unclear noun phrases ('the workings'). Rephrase to list clear parallel items: 'prepare the application for the PhD program', 'manage my work', 'deal with my relationship'. Ensure parallel structure when listing items.

× So it's a bit messy and I feel tired easy.

✓ So it's a bit messy and I get tired easily.

'Feel tired easy' misplaces the adverb and uses incorrect adverb form. Use the adverb 'easily' and the verb 'get tired' or 'feel tired'. Place the adverb after the verb: 'get tired easily'.

× Right now I even feel tired when I get up, but I feel the most tiredness after working because my work is doing the research.

✓ Right now I even feel tired when I get up, but I feel most tired after working because my work involves doing research.

'Feel the most tiredness' is awkward; use 'feel most tired'. 'My work is doing the research' is unidiomatic; use 'my work involves doing research' or 'I do research for work'. Maintain present simple to describe habitual work.

× So it just comes from a lot of energies on brainstorming and doing the experiment.

✓ So it just comes from expending a lot of energy on brainstorming and doing experiments.

'A lot of energies' is incorrect; 'energy' is an uncountable noun, use 'a lot of energy' or 'expending energy'. 'Doing the experiment' should be plural or generic 'doing experiments' unless referring to a specific experiment. Also 'comes from expending' clarifies cause.

× Usually I'll stop working and then give a short talk with my friends or just walk along the, uh, balcony.

✓ Usually I'll stop working and have a short chat with my friends or just walk along the balcony.

'Give a short talk with my friends' is awkward; native speakers 'have a short chat'. 'Walk along the balcony' is fine but remove filler 'uh'. Use appropriate collocations.

× That helped me to reset my brains and fulfill my energy for the following, uh, task.

✓ That helps me reset my mind and recharge my energy for the next task.

'Reset my brains' is unidiomatic; use 'reset my mind'. 'Fulfill my energy' is incorrect; use 'recharge my energy' or 'restore my energy'. Use present tense 'helps' for habitual actions. Replace 'following, uh, task' with 'next task'.

× That is a good way to.

✓ That is a good way to do that.

The sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly. Add an appropriate verb phrase to complete it: 'That is a good way to do that' or 'That's a good way to recharge'.