Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and vary vocabulary. You could say why work makes you tired and give a brief example. Keep it within 2–3 sentences to be direct and effective.

예시: Yes, I do. Recently my workload has increased, so I often finish work late and feel exhausted by the evening. For example, I sometimes work overtime two or three times a week, which leaves me drained.

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct tense and clearer phrasing, link reasons with a connector, and give a specific detail about sleep habits. Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: I usually feel tired in the morning when I wake up because I often go to bed late and don’t sleep deeply. For example, I typically sleep after midnight and wake up early, so I rarely get a full, restful night's sleep.

제안: Reduce fillers, correct verb forms, and use linking words to make the answer coherent. Give a specific routine or example and keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually lie down and rest for about 20–30 minutes and then watch a short movie or series to relax. This helps me unwind because it distracts my mind and lets me recover before returning to work.

× I usually feel tired when I woke up.

✓ I usually feel tired when I wake up.

The sentence mixes present habitual 'usually feel' with past tense 'woke up'. Use simple present 'wake up' for habitual actions to maintain tense consistency. Suggestion: match tense for routines (I usually wake up at 7).

× I think it is because I went to sleep late and and also because of my quality of my sleep is not much good.

✓ I think it is because I went to sleep late and also because the quality of my sleep is not very good.

This sentence has tense and phrasing problems. 'Went to sleep late' is past and can be acceptable if referring to a recent night, but the clause 'the quality of my sleep is not much good' is ungrammatical in present form. Use 'the quality of my sleep is not very good' or 'my sleep quality is poor'. Also remove duplicate 'and'. Suggestion: keep parallel structure and use natural collocations ('quality of my sleep' + 'not very good').

× Umm, actually I tried to just lay down on bed and try to take a rest and try to watch movie.

✓ Umm, actually I try to just lie down on the bed, try to rest, and try to watch a movie.

Original mixes past 'tried' with present context and uses incorrect verb 'lay' instead of 'lie' for reclining. Also missing article before 'bed' and 'movie'. Use present simple 'try' for habitual actions. Use parallel verbs and include 'a' before 'movie'. If referring to a single past occasion, use past consistently: 'I tried to lie down on the bed, rest, and watch a movie.'

× That is the way that I how I feel relaxed.

✓ That is how I relax.

The original contains redundant words ('that I how I') and unnatural phrasing. Simplify to 'That is how I relax' or 'That's the way I relax.' This uses correct word order and a clear verb 'relax' rather than the adjective 'relaxed' in this context.