Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and organize your response with a clear topic sentence, correct word choices and fewer redundancies. Use one concise sentence to state whether you often feel tired, then add a specific reason with a linking word. Correct mistakes like "tiny student" (likely "a student" or "a university/young student") and "works" (use "work" or "assignments"), and avoid repeating ideas.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired because I have a heavy workload and many exams. For example, I often stay up late doing assignments and revising for tests, so I usually feel stressed and short of sleep.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence about the timing, then give specific consequences using linking words (e.g., "because" or "so"). Fix prepositions and phrasing: use "if I don't get enough sleep the night before" and "pay attention to my work". Keep it within four sentences and avoid repetition.

예시: I usually feel tired the morning after I don't get enough sleep the night before, because I can't concentrate in class. As a result, I struggle to pay attention to my work and participate in discussions, so I know I need to rest more that evening.

제안: Start with a clear, natural topic sentence stating your usual action, then give a specific example and a brief result using linking words (e.g., "so" or "because"). Use correct vocabulary: replace "tightness" with "tiredness" or "fatigue", and avoid contradictory phrases like "often do that sometimes". Keep it concise (max 5 sentences).

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a short nap because that helps me recharge. For instance, I sometimes nap between classes, and as a result I can concentrate better in the following lesson.

× Yes, as a tiny student, Tyanes is something you can't get rid of easily.

✓ Yes, as a young student, tiredness is something you can't get rid of easily.

Original uses 'tiny student' (wrong collocation) and 'Tyanes' (misspelling) and treats 'tiredness' incorrectly. This is primarily an article/word-choice and noun form issue: use 'young student' or 'a young student' and the noun 'tiredness' (uncountable). Suggestion: use correct collocations and correct noun forms; 'tiredness' or 'being tired' are natural.

× We have lots of works, lots of exams and less sleeping time so I often feel tired and stressful.

✓ We have lots of work, lots of exams, and less sleep time, so I often feel tired and stressed.

'Works' is incorrect in this context; 'work' is an uncountable noun. 'Sleeping time' is awkward; 'sleep time' or 'sleep' is better. 'Stressful' describes something that causes stress; the student should use 'stressed' to describe their feeling. Suggestion: use uncountable 'work', 'sleep', and the adjective 'stressed' for feelings.

× Usually if I don't get enough sleep last night, then the next day I can't concentrate during class at all and that's when I feel the tiredness.

✓ Usually if I don't get enough sleep the night before, then the next day I can't concentrate during class at all, and that's when I feel tired.

Mixed tense: 'don't get' (present) with 'last night' (past) is inconsistent. Use 'the night before' or 'last night' with past tense. Also 'the tiredness' is awkward; 'feel tired' is natural. Suggestion: keep conditional in present for habitual past: 'if I don't get enough sleep the night before' or 'if I didn't get enough sleep last night'.

× I cannot pay attention on my works, I cannot focus on anything.

✓ I cannot pay attention to my work; I cannot focus on anything.

Use preposition 'to' with 'pay attention to'. 'Works' is incorrect; use uncountable 'work'. Suggestion: 'pay attention to my work' or 'pay attention in class' depending on meaning.

× The easiest way to get rid of the tightness is to take a nap or just to sleep more, and I often do that sometimes even during a class, because I just can't concentrate any more than I would just fall asleep immediately.

✓ The easiest way to get rid of tiredness is to take a nap or just sleep more, and I often do that, sometimes even during class, because I just can't concentrate anymore and would often fall asleep immediately.

'Tightness' is wrong word; use 'tiredness'. 'Just to sleep more' -> 'just sleep more' is more natural (infinitive misuse). 'Any more' should be 'anymore' in this context. 'I would just fall asleep immediately' has awkward modality and redundancy; use 'would often fall asleep immediately' or 'tend to fall asleep immediately'. Suggestion: simplify phrase structure, choose correct nouns and adverbs, and avoid redundant words.

× And I think that helps a lot 'cause the next class I'll be better.

✓ And I think that helps a lot because I'll be better in the next class.

'Cause' is informal; use 'because' in corrected form. Word order 'the next class I'll be better' is awkward; use 'I'll be better in the next class.' This is a future-tense/modal ordering issue. Suggestion: maintain natural word order: 'I'll be better in the next class.'