Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific reasons and avoid unclear phrases. Use correct tense and natural expressions (e.g., "lately" not "recently" in this context, and "I'm getting older" instead of "I'm aging before I can"). Keep it under five sentences and link ideas with a simple connector such as "because" or "so".

예시: Yes, I have been feeling more tired lately. For example, I used to take my older daughter to parks and go hiking, but now I often don't have enough energy to play with my younger daughter because I feel worn out after daily chores.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, then provide specific routine details and a concise reason. Avoid repetition and grammar errors (plural agreement and verb forms). Use linking words like "after" and "so" to connect cause and effect.

예시: I usually feel tired after a busy morning routine. After I take my daughter to school, I come home and prepare breakfast, and even a simple meal like bread and coffee leaves me feeling drained, so I often need a short rest later.

제안: Begin with a direct answer, then give two specific activities and briefly explain their benefits. Combine short fragments into full sentences and use linking words such as "so" or "which" for coherence. Avoid sentence fragments like "Enjoy my quietness"—use "I enjoy some quiet time" instead.

예시: I usually take a short nap or read a book when I feel tired, because I don't need to go to work early and have free time. A nap helps me recharge quickly, while reading relaxes me and gives me some peaceful, solitary time.

× I think so. I do feel tired recently.

✓ I think so. I have been feeling tired recently.

The sentence uses simple present 'do feel' with 'recently', which requires present perfect continuous or present perfect to express a recent and continuing state. Use 'have been feeling' to show an ongoing condition that started in the past and continues now.

× I don't know whether because I'm aging before I can.

✓ I don't know whether it is because I'm getting older and can't anymore.

The original mixes 'whether' and 'because' incorrectly and uses 'aging before I can', which is ungrammatical. Use 'whether it is because' to introduce a possibility and 'getting older' for natural phrasing; 'can't anymore' clarifies inability now.

× I could bring my older daughter to sing parks, to go hiking and climbing, but now I cannot have enough energy to play with my second daughter.

✓ I could take my older daughter to parks, hiking, and climbing, but now I don't have enough energy to play with my younger daughter.

'Could' is fine for past ability but 'sing parks' is incorrect word choice; use 'take' and list activities correctly. 'Cannot have enough energy' is unnatural; use 'don't have enough energy'. Also 'second daughter' is better as 'younger daughter' for clarity.

× Usually after a busy morning routine, because in the morning I have to send my daughter to school and after sending them to school I will go back to make my own breakfast.

✓ Usually after a busy morning routine. In the morning I have to send my daughters to school, and after taking them I go back to make my own breakfast.

The original mixes singular 'daughter' with plural pronoun 'them' causing agreement error. Also tense and sentence structure are awkward. Use 'daughters' if plural, and keep consistent present simple 'go back' for habitual actions. Split into two sentences for clarity.

× Even just bread and coffee that makes me feel tired.

✓ Even just bread and coffee make me feel tired.

'Bread and coffee' is plural compound subject, so the verb should be 'make' not 'makes'. Also remove 'that' to form a correct simple sentence.

× I don't have to go to work early, so I usually have free time at home.

✓ I don't have to go to work early, so I usually have free time at home.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It uses modal 'don't have to' properly to express lack of obligation and present simple for routines.

× When I feel tired, I either take a short nap to recharge or read a book to relax and calm my mind.

✓ When I feel tired, I either take a short nap to recharge or read a book to relax and calm my mind.

This sentence is correct. The parallel structure 'take... or read...' is appropriate and the gerund 'calm my mind' is used correctly.

× Enjoy my quietness and a time alone.

✓ I enjoy the quiet and having time alone.

The original lacks a subject and uses awkward nouns 'quietness' and 'a time alone'. Add subject 'I' and use natural expressions 'the quiet' and 'having time alone' to make a complete, fluent sentence.