Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Replace vague phrases like "difficult experience" with concrete details (e.g., long travel time, crowded buses).

예시: Yes, I often feel tired, especially on workdays, because commuting in the Philippines can take over an hour and is usually very crowded. As a result, I arrive at the office already drained before my shift begins.

제안: Organize your answer: give a direct topic sentence, then use linking words to add reasons. Avoid filler phrases ("like I said") and finish sentences cleanly. Provide one specific example of how overtime or commuting affects you.

예시: I usually feel tired on weekdays because I work eight-hour shifts and sometimes stay for overtime. Moreover, the long commute often leaves me exhausted, for example, after standing on a packed bus for an hour I have little energy left for work.

제안: Keep the answer natural but more coherent by using linking words to sequence actions and add a brief reason for each action. Use slightly richer vocabulary (e.g., "light meal", "short nap"). Limit to three to four short sentences.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually sit down and take a few deep breaths to relax. Then I prepare a light meal, such as eggs and rice, to restore my energy. If I still feel drained, I take a quick shower and a short nap to recharge.

× Honestly, yes, I often feel tired especially when it comes to work days because here in the Philippines getting to work is very stressful.

✓ Honestly, yes, I often feel tired, especially on workdays, because here in the Philippines getting to work is very stressful.

Use of 'work days' is less idiomatic; 'workdays' or 'on workdays' is correct for recurring times. Also add a comma before 'especially' for clarity. Change 'work days' to 'workdays' and use the preposition 'on' to indicate days.

× The commute itself is a difficult experience.

✓ The commute itself is a difficult experience.

No grammatical error requiring correction under the provided list; sentence is acceptable in present tense describing a habitual or general state.

× I usually feel tired during the weekdays because I have to go to work for 8 hours.

✓ I usually feel tired during the weekdays because I have to work eight hours a day.

Use the more natural verb phrase 'have to work' rather than 'have to go to work for 8 hours.' Spell out numbers in formal speech transcriptions ('eight') and place 'a day' to clarify the time period. This improves naturalness and clarity.

× Sometimes I do overtime.

✓ Sometimes I work overtime.

Use the collocation 'work overtime' instead of 'do overtime.' 'Work' is the appropriate verb with 'overtime.'

× Also like I said, like I mentioned, commuting is also a part of that problem since it drains my energy by.

✓ Also, as I said, commuting is part of that problem since it drains my energy.

Remove redundant phrases 'like I said, like I mentioned' and the incorrect final particle 'by.' Use 'as I said' for brevity and clarity. 'Drains my energy' is complete; 'by' at the end is incorrect and unnecessary.

× When I feel tired, I just take the time to sit down and breathe.

✓ When I feel tired, I just take the time to sit down and breathe.

Sentence is grammatically correct and appropriately uses present tense for habitual action; no correction needed under the list.

× After that I cook something quick and easy like eggs and rice.

✓ After that, I cook something quick and easy, like eggs and rice.

Add commas for clarity: one after 'After that' and one before 'like' to introduce an example. 'Quick and easy' correctly modifies 'something,' but punctuation improves readability.

× If I feel full, I take a shower and immediately take a nap.

✓ If I feel tired, I take a shower and immediately take a nap.

Logical error: 'If I feel full' conflicts with context about tiredness. Likely intended 'If I feel sleepy' or simply 'If I feel tired.' Replace 'full' with 'tired' (or 'sleepy') to match context. The sentence structure and tense are otherwise correct.