Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes/No + frequency), then give one or two clear reasons using correct verb forms and coherent linking. Avoid redundancy (don’t repeat the same idea).

예시: Yes, I sometimes feel tired, especially when I haven't slept enough. For example, if I have to get up at 5:00 or 6:00 a.m., I usually feel very exhausted the next day.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence answering the question, use correct time expressions (a.m./p.m.) and past/present tense consistently, and provide specific, complete supporting details. Remove unclear fragments and avoid repeating the same point.

예시: I usually feel tired when I have to wake up very early, such as at 5:00 or 6:00 a.m., especially after staying up late the night before. I also get tired after completing many tasks in one day, because constant work drains my energy.

제안: Begin with a direct answer describing your typical actions, use natural collocations and correct grammar (e.g., “drink a glass of water”, “stretch my body”), and link actions with purpose using connectors like “so” or “to”. Be specific about duration or frequency if possible.

예시: When I feel tired, I usually take a short walk and drink a glass of water to refresh myself. I also do some light stretches for five minutes to clear my mind and restore my concentration.

× Every so often that if I don't have enough energy or didn't have enough sleep and I would feel tired.

✓ Every so often if I don't have enough energy or don't have enough sleep, I feel tired.

Mixed present and past tense and unnecessary use of 'that' created confusion. Use consistent present tense for habitual situations: 'don't have' and 'don't have' and simple present 'I feel'. Remove 'that' which is unnecessary here.

× Furthermore, when I need to get up early, like at 5:00 or 6:00, I would feel very exhausted.

✓ Furthermore, when I need to get up early, like at 5:00 or 6:00, I feel very exhausted.

Using 'would' suggests conditional or habitual past; for general habitual facts use simple present 'feel'. Keep tense consistent with 'need'.

× For instance, when I need to get up early to go to school, like at 5:00 or 6:00 PM, or if I stay up too late yesterday, then tomorrow I have to get up very early, then I would feel very tired.

✓ For instance, when I need to get up early to go to school, like at 5:00 or 6:00, or if I stayed up too late last night and have to get up very early the next day, I feel very tired.

This sentence mixes present and past incorrectly and misuses time expressions. Use 'stayed up too late last night' for past, 'the next day' for following day, and simple present 'I feel' for habitual result. Removed 'PM' which conflicted with early morning times.

× Furthermore, when I finish a lot of tasks that I would.

✓ Furthermore, when I finish a lot of tasks, I feel tired.

The original is an incomplete sentence with a dangling 'that I would'. Complete the thought by stating the result: 'I feel tired.' This fixes sentence structure and clarifies meaning.

× If I feel very exhausted that I would ask myself to walk around or even take a cup of water to let my brain to clearly.

✓ If I feel very exhausted, I will ask myself to walk around or even drink a cup of water to clear my mind.

Multiple errors: unnecessary 'that' after conditional, incorrect modal 'would' for a likely immediate action (use 'will' or simple present), incorrect phrase 'take a cup of water' (use 'drink a cup of water'), and wrong verb phrase 'to let my brain to clearly' (use 'to clear my mind' or 'so my mind is clear'). Corrected for natural phrasing and grammar.

× Furthermore, I would try to stretch my bodies to let me have a clear mindset.

✓ Furthermore, I try to stretch my body to help me have a clear mindset.

'Bodies' is incorrect since speaker is one person; use singular 'body'. Also 'would try' implies conditional; use simple present 'try' for habitual actions. 'To let me have a clear mindset' is awkward; 'to help me have a clear mindset' is clearer.