Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more direct with a clear topic sentence, simplify tense inconsistencies, avoid redundancy, and add a brief linking phrase to explain why. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use natural collocations (e.g. “feel tired” instead of “definitely feel tired” twice).

예시: Not usually. If I do something very strenuous, such as playing competitive sports, I feel tired afterwards because my body needs time to recover.

제안: Open with a direct topic sentence, correct tense consistency, and give one specific example plus a linking word to clarify cause. Avoid vague phrases like “something” and replace with specific actions.

예시: I usually feel tired after a long day of physical activity or when I don’t sleep well. For example, after a full day of moving between classes and commuting, I often feel exhausted the next evening.

제안: Be concise and natural: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific, relevant actions as supporting details. Correct awkward phrases and vocabulary errors (e.g. “university giving foods,” “get back my university levels”). Use linking words to connect ideas and mention a common restorative action (rest, light snack).

예시: I usually relax and do something low‑energy, such as watching a film or listening to a podcast. If I need a quick boost, I’ll have a light snack like fruit or a sandwich and take a short nap to recharge.

× Not during most days, but if I did something exhausting on that particular day, like participated in a sports activity, then I will definitely feel tired.

✓ Not on most days, but if I do something exhausting on a particular day, like participate in a sports activity, then I will definitely feel tired.

Errors: inconsistent tense and incorrect preposition. The speaker refers to habitual/general present situations, so use simple present (do/participate) rather than past (did/participated). Also use the preposition 'on most days' (not 'during most days'). Suggestion: keep tense consistent for general statements and use correct prepositions: 'Not on most days, but if I do something exhausting on a particular day...'.

× As I said before, if I did something during that day or didn't get proper rest the previous night, then I would often feel tired.

✓ As I said before, if I do something during the day or don't get proper rest the previous night, then I often feel tired.

Errors: tense inconsistency and conditional form. For general habitual consequence, use simple present (do/don't) and simple present result (often feel). 'During that day' is awkward; 'during the day' is better. Replace past conditional 'would' with present 'often feel' to match general truth. Suggestion: use simple present for both condition and result in habitual statements.

× I usually try to relax and perform more passive activities like watching a movie or listening to news, and I may take some university giving foods to get back my university levels such as or donut or rice.

✓ I usually try to relax and do more passive activities like watching a movie or listening to the news, and I may eat some simple foods to regain my energy levels, such as a donut or rice.

Multiple errors: 'perform' is awkward with 'activities' — use 'do'; 'listening to news' needs article 'the news'; 'take some ... foods' is incorrect — use 'eat some foods' or 'have some simple foods'; phrase 'university giving foods' is unclear and incorrect, likely meant 'simple' or 'quick' foods; 'get back my university levels' is incorrect and should be 'regain my energy levels'. Also remove extra 'or' before donut. Suggestion: use natural verbs (do, eat), include articles where needed, and use clear nouns (energy levels) to express meaning.