Tiredness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and complete the sentence. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid trailing words, and add a brief specific reason. Use a linking phrase if adding extra detail.

예시: Yes, I often feel tired after work because my job involves heavy manual labor. For example, I spend hours lifting and moving materials, which leaves me exhausted by the evening.

제안: This answer is generally good but can be improved by using a more natural tense, removing repetition, and providing one concise specific detail. Use a linking word for the example.

예시: I usually feel tired when I get home from work because I do long hours of physical labor. For instance, I often spend the day assembling wooden pallets, which is quite strenuous.

제안: Good structure and helpful details, but reduce hesitation, avoid repeating 'try', and keep it within 3–4 clear sentences. Use linking words to sequence actions (first, then, finally).

예시: When I feel tired, I first take a hot shower to refresh myself. Then I have a healthy meal and relax by watching TV for about an hour. Finally, I go to bed early to get a full night's sleep.

× Yes, I mostly feel tired after coming back from my job because my job requires intense labor and.

✓ Yes, I mostly feel tired after coming back from my job because my job requires intense labor.

The sentence ends with an unnecessary conjunction 'and' with no following clause, creating an incomplete sentence (sentence structure error). Remove the trailing 'and' to complete the sentence. Also consider avoiding repetition by replacing 'my job' in the second clause (e.g., 'because it requires intense labor').

× I would feel tired when I come home from my job because it requires a lot of physical labor and long hours.

✓ I feel tired when I come home from my job because it requires a lot of physical labor and long hours.

The original uses 'I would feel' which implies conditional or habitual past; here the speaker describes a habitual present situation, so simple present 'I feel' is correct (present tense / present participle issue). Use simple present to match habitual actions and present-tense 'requires.'

× For example, I would be making pallets, wooden pallets.

✓ For example, I make wooden pallets.

The phrase 'I would be making' is awkward and unnecessary for a habitual job activity; use simple present 'I make' to describe regular duties. Also avoid redundancy by combining 'pallets, wooden pallets' into 'wooden pallets.' This fixes sentence structure and tense consistency.

× Well, when I come home from my job, I would take a bath, go eat a nice healthy meal and try to rest, uh, properly.

✓ Well, when I come home from my job, I take a bath, eat a healthy meal, and try to rest properly.

Using 'I would take' suggests conditional/hypothetical; for regular routines use simple present 'I take.' Also streamline 'go eat a nice healthy meal' to 'eat a healthy meal.' Remove filler 'uh' and ensure parallel structure in the list of actions.

× Try to relax and watch some TV.

✓ I try to relax and watch some TV.

This sentence fragment lacks an explicit subject and verb tense consistent with previous sentence. Add subject 'I' and use simple present 'try' to indicate habitual action. This improves clarity and grammatical completeness.

× After that, I would go to bed and get a full night's sleep.

✓ After that, I go to bed and get a full night's sleep.

'I would go' implies conditional; for habitual nightly routine simple present 'I go' is appropriate. Use consistent tense for routines and habits.