Politeness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., “I learned politeness mainly from my parents”), then give one or two specific examples of what they taught you, linked with simple connectors (for example, “for example” or “they taught me to…”). Avoid filler phrases (“you know”) and repeated words. Keep to 2–4 sentences and use precise verbs and nouns.

예시: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents. For example, they taught me to greet people warmly when I met them and to use phrases like “please” and “thank you.” They also encouraged friendly gestures, such as a smile or a handshake, to show respect.

제안: Give a clear opinion sentence followed by 1–2 concise reasons with linking words (e.g., “because,” “therefore,” “for example”). Avoid repetition and filler words. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., “respectful,” “socially accepted,” “builds good relationships”).

예시: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it helps people build trust and good relationships. For example, being respectful and courteous makes you more likable and easier to work with in social and professional situations.

제안: Answer directly, then give a couple of specific examples using linking words like “for example” or “such as.” Avoid vague phrasing and fillers. Use correct expressions (e.g., “on every occasion,” “with older people,” “in public places”). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I believe we should be polite on every occasion. For example, we should be courteous in public places such as stores, at a friend’s home, and especially when speaking with older people or strangers.

제안: Use past tense consistently and begin with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “As a child, I usually did X and Y to show politeness”). Provide two specific actions, each explained briefly and linked with “first” and “second.” Remove fillers and unclear phrases. Use natural collocations (e.g., “shake hands,” “introduce myself,” “make a good impression”).

예시: As a child, I usually showed politeness in two ways. First, I would shake hands or smile when meeting someone, and second, I would introduce myself politely so people would know who I was and feel comfortable.

× So they would they had live A to live told me that, you know, you should grade to somebody else when you, you know, meet up face to face or you need to show a friendly gesture to them when you meet up with him or her.

✓ So they would tell me that you should greet somebody when you meet them face to face, and you should show a friendly gesture.

The original sentence has multiple pronoun and word-choice errors. 'They would they had live A to live told me' is ungrammatical and should be 'They would tell me' (simple past/habitual). 'Grade' is a wrong word and should be 'greet' (vocabulary). 'Somebody else' and the mixed 'them' and 'him or her' create inconsistent pronoun usage; use 'somebody' and the singular 'them' or plural 'people' to be natural. Also the clause order and repetitions were awkward; simplify to two coordinated clauses. Suggestion: use consistent pronouns and correct vocabulary, and keep verb tense consistent (past habitual).

× Well, I think yes, definitely being polite is one of the essential elements to, you know, be kind to become a grown, grown man in the society.

✓ Well, yes, being polite is definitely one of the essential elements to becoming a grown man in society.

The original mixes forms: 'to be kind to become' is incorrect sequence of infinitives and verbs. Use the gerund 'becoming' after 'elements to' or rewrite 'to become'. 'Grown, grown man' is a repetition; reduce to 'grown man'. Use 'in society' without the definite article for general meaning. Suggestion: choose correct verb form (gerund after 'to' in this expression) and avoid unnecessary repetition and unnecessary articles.

× Well, to be honest, I think in every occasions people should be polite and umm, and no matter you are, you know, grocery store or in your friend's house, houses or, you know, made-up with their elderly generation, you have to be polite as always.

✓ To be honest, I think on every occasion people should be polite, whether you are in a grocery store, at a friend's house, or with an older generation, you should always be polite.

Errors: 'in every occasions' should be 'on every occasion' (preposition and singular/plural). 'No matter you are, you know, grocery store' is ungrammatical; use 'whether you are in a grocery store'. 'Friend's house, houses' is inconsistent; choose singular or plural and use 'at a friend's house'. 'Made-up with their elderly generation' is unclear; 'with an older generation' or 'with elderly people' is correct. Suggestion: use correct prepositions for locations ('in' for store, 'at' for someone's house) and correct idiomatic connectors ('whether').

× So the first thing I'm gonna do is to, you know, shake hand with them.

✓ So the first thing I would do is shake hands with them.

In a past description, 'gonna' (informal future) is inappropriate; the context asks about what the student did as a child, so use 'would' + base verb or simple past. Also 'shake hand' should be plural 'shake hands'. The structure 'the first thing I would do is shake hands' uses the base verb after 'is'. Suggestion: use appropriate past habitual modal ('would') and correct verb phrase 'shake hands'.

× And secondly, I would definitely make a very simple self introduction so that they can know who I am, umm, what I'm doing here and to show, uh, and you know, to, you know, let it have an impression on me.

✓ Secondly, I would make a simple self-introduction so they could know who I was, what I was doing there, and make a good impression.

Pronoun and tense problems: 'they can know who I am' should match past context ('they could know who I was'). 'Self introduction' needs a hyphen 'self-introduction'. 'To show... let it have an impression on me' is ungrammatical; intended meaning is 'to make a good impression'. Suggestion: keep past tense consistent, use correct compound noun form, and replace awkward phrases with idiomatic expressions like 'make a good impression'.

× So that is the first, that is the two things I would do when I was a child.

✓ So those were the two things I would do when I was a child.

The original mixes singular and plural ('the first, that is the two things') and uses present 'is' with past context. Use plural demonstrative 'those' and past tense 'were' to match 'when I was a child'. Suggestion: ensure number agreement between demonstrative and noun and match tense consistently.