Politeness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: - 内容方面：回答有主题句（从母亲学会礼貌），但细节不够具体，重复较多。建议补充具体行为细节（例如母亲如何教导、发生的具体场景或你学到的具体礼貌用语或行为）。 - 结构方面：避免重复句子，控制答案在最多5句内，可先给出主题句，再用1-2句具体例子支持。 - 连贯与衔接：使用连接词（for example, because, when）使叙述更连贯。 - 词汇与表达：改进常用表达（比如 say “showed kindness” 或 “treated guests politely”），减少语法错误。

예시: I learned to be polite mainly from my mother. For example, she always greeted relatives warmly and offered them food and fruit when they visited. Because I watched her treat guests with respect, I learned to say polite phrases like “please” and “thank you” and to offer small gifts when friends came over.

제안: - 内容方面：观点明确（礼貌重要），但表达混乱且含义不清（如“social require a high moment”“don't plight”）。建议用简单、清晰的句子表达原因和结果，举一两个具体理由支持观点。 - 结构方面：先直接给出观点，再用2句具体理由支持，避免语义重复。 - 连贯与衔接：使用because, so, therefore等连接词来说明因果关系。 - 词汇与表达：用恰当词汇替换错误词组（例如 “society expects politeness”, “people will respect you”）。

예시: Yes, I think politeness is very important. Because society expects people to be respectful, polite behaviour helps build good relationships. For example, if you are courteous to colleagues, they are more likely to cooperate with you.

제안: - 内容方面：回答提到了“会议”这一具体场合，但表达不准确（“keep the phone Zin and don't play for”），未覆盖更多常见场合。建议列举2-3个具体场合（家庭、工作、公共场所）并说明应做或不做的具体行为。 - 结构方面：先给出概括性句子，然后用具体场合和行为举例支持。 - 连贯与衔接：使用for example, such as等连接词，使句子更顺畅。 - 词汇与表达：纠正不准确表达为 “turn off your phone” 或 “put your phone on silent”。

예시: There are many occasions when we should be polite. For example, in meetings you should turn your phone off or put it on silent so you don’t disturb others. Also in public places like buses or restaurants, you should speak quietly and be considerate to strangers.

제안: - 内容方面：回答有展示童年行为的意图（分享水果、送礼），但表达混乱且有重复。建议用清晰简短的句子描述具体行为和原因（例如分享零食、轮流玩玩具、说“thank you”）。 - 结构方面：主题句+具体例子（1-2句）。保持句子简洁，避免反复相同词语。 - 连贯与衔接：使用phrases like “for example” 或 “for instance” 来引出例子。 - 词汇与表达：把“plight”替换为“polite”或“kind”，并用准确短语如 “share my snacks” 或 “give small gifts”.

예시: As a child I showed politeness by sharing with my friends. For instance, I often gave them fruit or snacks and said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when we played together.

× Well, actually I learned to be polite in my childhood time from my mom, from my mom.

✓ Well, actually I learned to be polite in my childhood from my mom.

句中“in my childhood time”冗长且不自然，应使用固定短语“in my childhood”。去掉重复“from my mom”。建议：使用简洁的介词短语，例如“in my childhood”或“as a child”。

× You know, my mom always was friendly to the relatives for example, she always gave some food and fruit to the relatives and residents.

✓ You know, my mom was always friendly to our relatives; for example, she often gave food and fruit to relatives and neighbors.

原句中介词与名词搭配及词序不当。“friendly to the relatives”更自然为“friendly to our relatives”。“residents”用词不当，应为“neighbors”。动词位置也应调整为“was always friendly”。建议：注意介词搭配和合适词汇选择。

× So I think she was so friendly.

✓ So I think she was very friendly.

该句问题不大，但“so friendly”口语可用，正式写作中用“very friendly”更自然。此处纠正为表达更标准。建议：在正式表达中使用“very”替代口语“so”。

× Of course you know, in modern times many the social require a high moment that everyone should be polite.

✓ Of course, you know, in modern times many social situations require a high level of etiquette, so everyone should be polite.

原句结构混乱：“many the social”错误，名词单复数和限定词使用不当，“require a high moment”不合逻辑，应为“require a high level of etiquette”或“high standards of behavior”。建议：理清主语和宾语，使用合适的名词搭配并调整词序。

× You know, for example, if you have polite awareness, you will be friendly to each other and your friends may respect to you, but if you don't friendly and you don't plight.

✓ For example, if you have awareness of politeness, you will be friendly to others and your friends may respect you; but if you are not friendly and you don't behave politely, they may not respect you.

问题包括词类错误和介词使用错误：“polite awareness”更自然为“awareness of politeness”；“friendly”是形容词，不能直接用在“don't friendly”结构，应用系动词“are not friendly”；“respect to you”错误，应为“respect you”；“plight”用词不当，应为“behave politely”或“show politeness”。建议：注意形容词和动词的用法，使用正确的动词短语表达行为。

× Well, actually there are many occasions that we should be polite.

✓ Well, actually there are many occasions when we should be polite.

使用关系副词“when”比“that”更自然地引导表示时间的从句。建议：在表示“在……场合/时候”时使用“when”。

× You know, in my in my memory, I think the most important thing is that we are in the meeting.

✓ You know, in my memory, I think the most important thing is when we are in a meeting.

原句重复“in my in my memory”，且“the meeting”泛指会议时应使用不定冠词“a meeting”并用“when”引导时间状语从句。建议：避免重复，使用合适冠词和连接词。

× If we are the meeting, we should keep the phone Zin and don't play for.

✓ If we are in a meeting, we should keep our phones silent and not play with them.

原句缺少介词“in”且错误使用定冠词“the meeting”。“keep the phone Zin”不正确，应为“keep our phones silent/turned off”；“don't play for”不合语法，应为“not play with them”。建议：注意介词搭配、物主代词和固定短语（keep silent/turned off）。

× Well, actually in my childhood time, I just showed friendly to each other as a plight.

✓ Well, actually in my childhood, I just showed friendliness to others as a gesture of politeness.

“showed friendly to each other”用法错误，应该用名词“friendliness”或说“was friendly to others”；“as a plight”用词完全错误，应为“as a gesture of politeness”或“as a sign of politeness”。建议：区分形容词和名词，选择合适词汇表达“表示礼貌”。

× You know, when I played played with my friends, I always just showed my kindness such as gift such as gifting fruit and the fruit to just share the share my sincere.

✓ You know, when I played with my friends, I always showed kindness, such as giving gifts or sharing fruit to show my sincerity.

句中重复“played played”，动词形式和词序混乱。“showed my kindness such as gift such as gifting fruit and the fruit to just share the share my sincere”完全不连贯，应改为“showed kindness, such as giving gifts or sharing fruit to show my sincerity”。建议：避免重复单词，使用正确的动词形式（give/giving, share）并简化表达以确保连贯。