Politeness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific example with a linking word. Avoid vague phrases like “etc.” and incorrect forms such as “adultness.”

예시: I learned to be polite mostly from my parents and teachers. For example, my mother always reminded me to say “please” and “thank you,” and my teacher taught us to greet adults with “good morning.” As a result, these habits helped me communicate respectfully with others.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then one or two concise, specific reasons using linking words like “because” and “for example.” Correct word choice: use “in a formal way” or “formally.”

예시: Yes, being polite is very important because it helps you build professional and academic relationships. For example, speaking formally to professors or employers can create respect and better opportunities.

제안: Open with a direct topic sentence naming occasions, then give one or two specific examples with linking words. Use correct phrasing and punctuation to improve clarity.

예시: We should be polite on formal occasions and in everyday interactions. For example, when meeting professors or colleagues, saying “good morning” and “thank you” shows respect and prevents misunderstandings.

제안: Begin with a clear statement of what you did, then give one specific result using a linking word like “as a result” or “so.” Avoid vague endings such as “it could help me with a need.”

예시: As a child, I showed politeness by greeting my family every morning and saying “please” and “thank you.” As a result, people responded kindly to me and I often received small treats or help when I needed it.

× Well, when I was a child most adults taught me how to be more polite and kind not to speak in a bad words, etc.

✓ Well, when I was a child most adults taught me how to be more polite and kind, not to use bad words.

The original sentence has tense/word-choice issues and plural/article misuse. 'Taught' is correct past tense but 'not to speak in a bad words' is incorrect structure. Change to 'not to use bad words' which correctly uses the verb 'use' with the object 'bad words' and removes the unnecessary preposition 'in'. Also add a comma before the clause for clarity.

× Always say good morning when you wake up.

✓ I was always taught to say 'Good morning' when I woke up.

As a standalone sentence it is an imperative, but in context the student is describing childhood habits in the past. Change to a past habitual passive construction 'I was always taught to...' or 'I always said...' to match the past narration and maintain correct sentence structure.

× So these kind of things helped me to be more polite in adultness.

✓ So these kinds of things helped me become more polite as an adult.

Errors: 'these kind of' should be 'these kinds of' (or 'this kind of' with singular), 'to be more polite in adultness' is ungrammatical. Use 'helped me become more polite as an adult' to convey the intended meaning and use the correct noun phrase 'as an adult.'

× Yes, because when you are growing up, you should always know where to use the politeness, whether it's a career or your educational goal, you should always speak with other people in formal way using politeness.

✓ Yes, because when you are growing up you should know when to be polite; whether in your career or in education, you should always speak to others in a formal way.

Problems: awkward phrasing and article/preposition use. Replace 'where to use the politeness' with 'when to be polite' (correct collocation). 'Whether it's a career or your educational goal' -> 'whether in your career or in education' for parallelism. 'Speak with other people in formal way using politeness' -> 'speak to others in a formal way' is more natural. Tense 'are growing up' is acceptable but wording tightened for clarity.

× Well, it can help you with your Your connection with other people.

✓ Well, it can help you with your connections with other people.

Original has duplicated 'your Your' and wrong noun form 'connection' when plural 'connections' is more natural here. Fix pronoun capitalization and use plural to show general relationships.

× For example your professor, your tutor and you should always say good morning hello thank you very much and it could help you to prevent any other obstacles with your communication

✓ For example, you should always say 'Good morning,' 'Hello,' and 'Thank you very much' to your professors and tutors; this can help you avoid communication problems.

Run-on sentence, missing commas and articles, incorrect word choice ('prevent any other obstacles with your communication'). Recast into a clear sentence with correct punctuation and word choices: list greetings in quotes, pluralize 'professors and tutors' for generality, and replace 'prevent any other obstacles with your communication' with 'avoid communication problems.'

× For example, I always used to say good morning to my parents or siblings when I woke up and as a result, all people liked me and wanted to give me some sweet treat.

✓ For example, I always used to say 'Good morning' to my parents and siblings when I woke up, and as a result many people liked me and sometimes gave me sweet treats.

Tense 'used to' and 'woke' are fine but 'all people liked me' is unnatural; 'many people liked me' or 'people liked me' is better. 'Wanted to give me some sweet treat' should be 'sometimes gave me sweet treats' to match natural past events and agreement in number.

× It could help me with a need.

✓ It could help me when I needed something.

Original 'help me with a need' is vague and ungrammatical. Clarify the meaning: if politeness helped obtain favors, say 'It could help me when I needed something.' This provides clear structure and correct prepositional usage.