Politeness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: use singular/plural correctly (e.g., "manners"), simplify phrasing, and add a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like "and" or "for example" to connect ideas. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I learned to be polite from my mother and my kindergarten teacher. For example, they taught me basic manners such as saying "please" and "thank you," and I practised being friendly with classmates during playtime.

제안: Make a clear topic sentence stating your opinion, correct awkward phrasing ("value being applied" is incorrect), and give one concise reason with a linking word. Avoid vague phrases and capitalize correctly.

예시: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it makes cooperation and communication easier in society.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence, use correct plural forms and prepositions (e.g., "on nearly all social occasions"). Use linking words ("for example", "when") and give one specific example of an occasion. Keep sentences concise and natural.

예시: We should be polite on nearly all social occasions. For example, when working in a team or discussing ideas with colleagues, being polite helps communication and builds trust.

제안: Begin with a simple topic sentence about what you did, correct tense and pronoun use, and give a specific short example with a linking phrase like "for example". Avoid wordy or awkward expressions ("favored my toy" → "liked my toy").

예시: As a child, I showed politeness by sharing and communicating with classmates. For example, during a class activity we took turns swapping toys and I politely asked other children if they liked my toy before giving it to them.

× Well, my mother, as well as the kindergarten teacher, told me some basic manner, behavior codes and social rules when I was little.

✓ Well, my mother, as well as the kindergarten teacher, taught me some basic manners, codes of behavior, and social rules when I was little.

The original uses 'manner' (singular) where 'manners' (plural) is idiomatic when referring to polite behavior. 'Behavior codes' is unnatural; 'codes of behavior' or 'rules of behavior' is correct. Also 'told me' is acceptable but 'taught me' is clearer for learning. To improve, use plural 'manners' and rearrange noun phrases for natural English.

× So I tried to be friendly and kind to my classmates when I was in kindergarten.

✓ So I tried to be friendly and kind to my classmates when I was in kindergarten.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It properly uses past tense 'tried' and matches plural 'classmates'. Keep verb agreement and tense as is.

× Yes I value being applied to other people very much because in the society Like cooperation and communication is very important.

✓ Yes, I value being polite to other people very much because in society cooperation and communication are very important.

Problems: 'being applied to other people' is incorrect; the intended idea is 'being polite to other people'. 'in the society' should be 'in society' (no article). 'Like' is extraneous and should be removed. 'cooperation and communication' are plural concepts so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. To improve, use correct prepositions and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× I think in nearly all occasion in social scenario that we should be polite to other people.

✓ I think on nearly all occasions in social situations we should be polite to other people.

Errors: 'in nearly all occasion' should be 'on nearly all occasions' (preposition and plural). 'in social scenario' is unnatural; use 'in social situations' or 'in social settings'. Also the relative 'that' is unnecessary. Improve by using correct prepositions and plural forms.

× As long as we need to cooperate, we need to exchange our ideas.

✓ Whenever we need to cooperate, we should exchange our ideas.

The original 'As long as' suggests a duration or condition that may fit but the sentence is repetitive with 'we need' twice. Using 'Whenever' and 'should' makes the idea clearer and more natural. This corrects style and clarity rather than tense.

× We need to show our kindness and friendly.

✓ We need to show our kindness and friendliness, or we need to be friendly.

'Friendly' is an adjective and cannot directly parallel the noun 'kindness'; use the noun 'friendliness' to match 'kindness', or rephrase to 'be friendly'. To improve, maintain parallel grammatical forms when listing qualities.

× Well, I remember the teacher organized us to exchange our toys with each other and you need to talk with another little kid about whether he or she favored my toy or not.

✓ Well, I remember the teacher organized us to exchange our toys with each other and we had to talk with another child about whether he or she liked my toy or not.

Tense inconsistency: the sentence begins with past 'I remember' and 'organized' but later switches to present 'you need to'. Keep past tense throughout: 'we had to' or 'we needed to'. Also 'little kid' is informal; 'child' is better. 'Favored' is awkward here; use 'liked'. Improve by maintaining consistent past tense and choosing natural verbs.