Politeness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cần cải thiện tính mạch lạc và ngữ pháp cơ bản. Bạn nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, nêu nguồn học (ví dụ: bố mẹ, ông bà), giải thích vì sao họ dạy bạn (tôn trọng, hình tượng hành vi), và đưa ví dụ cụ thể, ngắn gọn. Tránh câu không hoàn chỉnh và từ sai (ví dụ: “Queen”, “audio person”, “studio”) bằng cách dùng từ phù hợp như “when I was a child”, “guests” hoặc “teachers”. Sử dụng liên từ như “because” hoặc “for example” để liên kết các ý. Giữ độ dài không quá 4-5 câu.

예시: When I was a child I learned to be polite from my parents and grandparents because they always emphasized respect. For example, they taught me to say "please" and "thank you" to adults. They also asked me to stand up when guests entered the room to show courtesy. These small lessons shaped how I behave around others.

제안: Cần diễn đạt rõ ràng lý do vì sao lịch sự quan trọng. Bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề trực tiếp, rồi nói lý do cụ thể (ví dụ: tạo ấn tượng tốt, giúp quan hệ công việc), và kết luận ngắn gọn. Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: "important is a first impression" → "it creates a good first impression") và tránh lặp từ. Dùng liên từ như "because" và "so" để kết nối ý.

예시: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it creates a good first impression. When you are polite, people are more likely to trust you and want to work with you. For instance, polite behavior can help you get a job or build better relationships. Therefore, I always try to be respectful and courteous to others.

× Queen when I was trying I learned for life from my parents and grandparents so they always taught me to say please and thank you to great artists for Leigh because it show me respect. For example, I was told to stand up when an audio person entered the room and I studio

✓ When I was a child, I learned manners from my parents and grandparents; they always taught me to say please and thank you because it shows respect. For example, I was told to stand up when an older person entered the room or when I was in a studio.

The original is garbled and contains multiple issues: unclear subject 'Queen', wrong word choices like 'trying', 'great artists', 'Leigh', and missing connectors. The sentence structure is confusing and fragments run together. Also 'show' should be 'shows' to agree with singular 'it'. Suggestions: reorganize to a clear main clause 'When I was a child, I learned manners from my parents and grandparents', use correct vocabulary ('older person' or 'adult' instead of 'audio person'), and separate examples into a new sentence. Ensure subject-verb agreement for 'it shows'.

× Yes, I think it's very important because important is a first impression everyone look about me and think about other people to to do to do work and they can decide work for that people.

✓ Yes, I think it's very important because first impressions matter: everyone looks at me and forms opinions about whether I can work with other people, and they may decide about my suitability for a job.

This sentence has many structural and lexical problems: repetition 'to to do to do', incorrect noun phrase 'important is a first impression', wrong verb form 'look' (should be 'looks' or 'look at'), and unclear ideas. Reorganize into logical clauses: 'first impressions matter', 'everyone looks at me and forms opinions', and 'they may decide if I am suitable for work with others'. Use correct verbs and remove repetitions. Replace vague phrases with precise ones like 'forms opinions' and 'suitability for a job'.