Politeness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant but too brief, contains repetition and a small grammar issue. To improve: 1) Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question. 2) Add one or two specific supporting details (an example or a brief description of what your parents taught). 3) Avoid repetition (e.g., "older older") and finalize with a short concluding phrase. 4) Keep it natural and within 3–4 sentences. Use linking words like "for example" or "for instance" to connect ideas.

예시: I learned to be polite mainly from my parents. They always reminded me to say "please" and "thank you" and to greet older people respectfully. For example, whenever we visited relatives, they taught me to stand and offer a seat to elders so they would feel comfortable.

제안: Your answer expresses an opinion but is disorganized and contains many hesitations and unclear wording. To improve: 1) Begin with a clear opinion sentence (e.g., "Yes, I think being polite is very important"). 2) Give a concise reason and one concrete example using linking words like "because" and "for example." 3) Remove filler words (uh, you know) and simplify sentences to be grammatically correct. 4) Keep to 2–3 sentences and use specific vocabulary (e.g., "respectful behavior", "social interactions").

예시: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps you build good relationships. For example, if you speak respectfully to shopkeepers or colleagues, they are more likely to help you and cooperate.

× They used to teach me how I should treat people with respect, especially for older older people.

✓ They used to teach me how I should treat people with respect, especially older people.

The phrase 'for older older people' uses unnecessary preposition 'for' and repeats 'older'. Use 'especially older people' to correctly modify 'people' with the adjective 'older'. Remove duplication and the unneeded preposition. Suggestion: avoid 'for' after 'especially' when directly modifying a noun.

× Of course, if you treat people with disrespect, will, you will not achieve something, uh, good that can, uh, satisfy you.

✓ Of course, if you treat people with disrespect, you will not achieve anything good that can satisfy you.

The original sentence has disfluent filler words and incorrect word order ('will, you will' and 'something good that can satisfy you'). 'If' conditional should have subject then modal: 'you will'. Also use 'anything' instead of 'something' in negative contexts. Remove fillers. Suggestion: keep conditional clauses clear: 'If + present, subject + will + base verb'.

× You know, uh, for example, when you, uh, come to the store trying to buy something for yourself, but treat uh, the seller with disrespect, he will not sell you and give you what you want, you know?

✓ For example, when you come to the store to buy something for yourself but treat the seller with disrespect, he will not sell you what you want.

The sentence contains unnecessary fillers ('you know, uh') and an incorrectly split clause 'sell you and give you what you want' which is wordy. Also 'but treat... he will' should be linked without extra comma; keep pronoun usage consistent: 'the seller' is fine. Remove redundant 'and give you' because 'sell you what you want' suffices. Suggestion: eliminate fillers, maintain clause cohesion, and use concise verb objects.