Politeness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence stating how you learned to be polite, then add one or two specific examples with linking words. Correct minor grammar mistakes (e.g., remove extra words like “the all different kinds of”). Aim for 2–3 sentences and use varied vocabulary (e.g., “taught me manners,” “role model,” “volunteering” ).

예시: My mother taught me good manners from a young age by modelling respectful behaviour and giving practical examples. For instance, she encouraged me to help elderly neighbours and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ which shaped how I interact with others today.

제안: Give a clear opinion and support it with specific reasons linked logically. Fix grammar (e.g., “one of the most important things”) and avoid redundancy. Use linking words like “because” or “therefore” and provide a short example or consequence to make your answer more convincing.

예시: Yes, I think being polite is very important because it helps build trust and smooth everyday interactions. For example, polite behaviour can make teamwork easier at work or school, so people are more willing to cooperate.

× As a child, my mom usually would teach me the all different kinds of being polite and she would give examples like helping out the elderly and this has impacted me, impacted me a lot on my journey.

✓ As a child, my mom usually taught me all the different ways of being polite, and she gave examples like helping the elderly; this impacted me a lot on my journey.

Problems: incorrect article use and some sentence-structure issues. 'the all different kinds of' is incorrect: use 'all the different' or 'all different' and 'kinds of being polite' is wordy; 'ways of being polite' is clearer. Tense consistency: 'would teach' can be replaced by simple past 'taught' to match past narrative; likewise 'would give' -> 'gave'. 'Helping out the elderly' -> 'helping the elderly' is more natural. Combine clauses with punctuation to avoid repetition ('impacted me, impacted me'). Suggestion: use 'taught' and 'gave' for past habits, 'all the different ways of being polite' for clarity, and remove redundant phrases.

× Yes, definitely. I think being polite is one of the most important thing, important things to have in your personality and this could definitely impact all many other actions in the future.

✓ Yes, definitely. I think being polite is one of the most important things to have in your personality, and this could definitely impact many other actions in the future.

Problems: singular/plural and word order. 'one of the most important thing' is incorrect; after 'one of the' the noun should be plural: 'things'. Also 'all many other actions' is incorrect word choice/ordering; use either 'many other actions' or 'all other actions', not both. Suggestion: use 'things' for plural form and 'many other actions' to express influence on various future behaviors.