Paper— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and add a linking word to show time or habit. Correct tense and reduce repetition. Add one specific detail about a memorable piece.

예시: Yes, I have. I love origami and have been folding it since childhood, especially cranes and flowers. For example, I once made a large paper crane mobile for my school project, which took several evenings to complete.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence, fix grammar, avoid filler and use linking words to explain reason. Give a specific memory or outcome.

예시: As a child I often made paper planes and boats to play with my friends. For instance, we held contests to see whose plane flew the farthest, and I usually won because I folded them carefully.

제안: Be more concise and avoid repeating words. Use one clear reason and a contrasting brief comment about exceptions. Correct small grammar issues.

예시: No, I rarely write physical letters because modern messaging apps are quicker and more convenient. However, I might write a handwritten card for special occasions like birthdays.

제안: Avoid repetition and finish your idea. Use linking words (firstly, secondly) properly and give a clear second reason or example to support your view.

예시: Yes, many people—especially older generations—keep handwritten letters because they have sentimental value and serve as personal records of important events. For example, grandparents often preserve letters from family members as treasured memories.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence, avoid vague phrases like 'something like that', and add a specific situation when you might carry them. Use a linking phrase to add that exception.

예시: No, I usually don't carry paper and pens because my phone meets most needs. However, I sometimes bring a notebook and pen to lectures or creative meetings when I prefer to write by hand.

× Yes, of course I've made a lot of crafts with paper. For example, my favorite paper thing is origami. So I made origami since I was a kid and did it every day.

✓ Yes, of course I've made a lot of crafts with paper. For example, my favorite paper craft is origami. I have been making origami since I was a kid and used to do it every day.

Problems: 6: Present tense issue and 5: Past tense issue and 27: Subject-verb agreement/word choice. 'My favorite paper thing' is awkward; use 'paper craft' (word choice/adjective use). 'So I made origami since I was a kid' mixes past simple with a time expression that requires present perfect or present perfect continuous; corrected to 'I have been making origami since I was a kid' to show an action continuing from past to present. 'Did it every day' is acceptable for habitual past but sounds inconsistent; 'used to do it every day' clarifies habitual past. Suggestion: use consistent tense for actions continuing to present (present perfect or present perfect continuous) and choose appropriate noun collocations (paper craft, not paper thing).

× So when I was a kid I made lots of paper planes or ships because I love I liked to play with my friends

✓ So when I was a kid I made lots of paper planes or ships because I loved to play with my friends.

Problems: 1: Singular and plural issue (none here) and 5: Past tense issue and 12: Pronoun/word choice. The sentence mixes present 'I love' with past 'I liked' and omits punctuation. Use past tense consistently for childhood habits: 'I loved to play with my friends.' Also remove the redundant 'I' after 'because'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and eliminate repetition.

× No, I don't because there is no need to write that type of letters because we are living in the modern world so it's easy to just text text a message on your phone without any barriers or troubles with internet.

✓ No, I don't because there is no need to write those kinds of letters; we live in a modern world, so it's easy to just text a message on your phone without barriers or internet troubles.

Problems: 11 Incorrect use of prepositions/phrasing and 13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs and 6 Present tense issue. 'That type of letters' is ungrammatical; use 'those kinds of letters.' 'We are living in the modern world' is wordy; 'we live in a modern world' or 'we live in the modern world' is better. 'text text a message' repeats 'text' by mistake. 'Troubles with internet' should be 'internet troubles' or 'trouble with the internet.' Suggestion: remove repetition, use plural demonstrative 'those', and prefer concise present tense statements.

× Yes, I think people still keep handwritten letters today, especially the old generation because it's a part of their history first of all, it's part of their history and secondly.

✓ Yes, I think people still keep handwritten letters today, especially the older generation, because they are part of their personal history.

Problems: 1 Singular and plural/word choice and 12 Incorrect use of pronouns and 26 Sentence structure errors. 'The old generation' is better expressed as 'the older generation.' The phrase repeats 'it's a part of their history first of all, it's part of their history and secondly' which is redundant and unfinished. Correct by making a concise clause: 'because they are part of their personal history.' Suggestion: avoid repetition, use 'older generation', and complete your reasons in clear order.

× No I don't because I think there is no need to carry paper and pens When I go for a walk or go to study because we have phones, we have computers and something like that.

✓ No, I don't because I don't think there is a need to carry paper and pens when I go for a walk or to study, since we have phones, computers, and similar devices.

Problems: 1 Singular and plural issue and 11 Incorrect use of prepositions/capitalization and 26 Sentence structure errors. Capitalization error in 'When'. Repetition 'because I think there is no need' can be streamlined to 'I don't think there is a need'. 'Go to study' is awkward; use 'to study'. 'Something like that' is vague; replace with 'similar devices.' Suggestion: fix capitalization, simplify clauses for clarity, and use parallel infinitive structure 'go for a walk or to study.'