Paper— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition (e.g., "used to" repeated), correct grammar ("I made paper crafts" not "I've made any crafts"), and keep it concise (max 5 sentences). Add one specific detail and a linking word to organize the answer (e.g., "For example").

예시: Yes, I made paper crafts when I was young. For example, I often folded paper airplanes to play with during break, and I also made paper boats which I tested in a small basin of water.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and provide one specific supporting detail with linking words. Fix grammar and word order ("I don't normally use physical letters" is fine but follow with a complete example). Avoid fragmented sentences.

예시: No, I don't normally write physical letters anymore. Instead, I send messages through phone apps to my family and friends, for example wishing them happy birthdays and Happy New Year via messaging apps.

제안: Provide a concise opinion first, then one clear reason with a linking word. Improve grammar ("older people" not "aged people", "are not used to new technology"). Avoid vague phrases like "maybe"; be more certain or say "often".

예시: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters, especially older people. This is often because they are not used to new technology and find writing on paper easier for personal or practical reasons.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid repeating "especially." Use one linking phrase and be specific about what you write. Correct phrasing ("we usually write notes on paper to record residents' requests"). Keep to two or three sentences.

예시: Yes, I usually carry paper and pens when I go out, particularly for work. For example, we write notes on paper to record residents' requests so we don't forget important tasks.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Fix tense and word order ("I used to draw on paper" not "what I do"). Combine repetitive sentences into one concise answer.

예시: I used to draw on paper a lot as a child. My teacher often asked us to draw during art class, so I frequently practiced sketching and coloring.

× Yes, I've made any crafts with paper.

✓ Yes, I've made some crafts with paper.

Using 'any' in affirmative statements is incorrect here; 'some' is the appropriate quantifier for positive sentences indicating an unspecified amount. Suggestion: use 'some' for affirmative contexts and 'any' for negative or questions.

× I used to when I was young I used to make an airplane paper or a paper airplane and used to play it during my break time.

✓ I used to, when I was young, make paper airplanes and play with them during my break time.

Problems: repeated 'I used to' is redundant and word order 'an airplane paper' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'paper airplane' and plural fits habitual past 'used to'. Also 'play it' should be 'play with them' for plural. Suggestion: avoid repeating 'used to' and use correct noun order and pronoun agreement.

× I also used to make a paper boat and I will get a basin that has water.

✓ I also used to make paper boats and would float them in a basin of water.

The original mixes past habitual 'used to' with future 'I will get', creating tense inconsistency. Use 'would' or past tense to describe habitual past actions. Also 'a basin that has water' is awkward; 'a basin of water' is natural. Suggestion: keep tense consistent when describing past habits.

× At this stage I don't normally use physical letters.

✓ At this stage I don't normally use physical letters.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It correctly uses present simple negative to describe current habit. Suggestion: none.

× I use my phone applications to send messages to my loved ones.

✓ I use phone applications to send messages to my loved ones.

Minor wording: 'my phone applications' is acceptable but 'phone applications' or 'messaging apps' is more natural. Structure is otherwise correct. Suggestion: prefer 'messaging apps' for natural speech.

× For example, during their birthdays during New Year's send messages through phone app

✓ For example, I send messages through a phone app on their birthdays and during New Year's.

Original lacks a subject and has repetitive 'during'. Add subject 'I', reorder time expressions, and use article 'a' with 'phone app'. Suggestion: include subject and clear time phrases.

× I believe there are some people who are doing handwritten letters.

✓ I believe there are some people who still write handwritten letters.

'Are doing handwritten letters' is awkward present continuous; habitual action is better expressed in simple present 'write'. Suggestion: use simple present for general truths or habits.

× Most of them are aged people maybe because they're not used for the new technology and the handwritten papers or letters would be much easier for them to communicate and to send

✓ Most of them are older people, maybe because they're not used to new technology, and handwritten letters are much easier for them to use to communicate and send.

Issues: 'aged people' is unnatural — use 'older people'; 'not used for the new technology' should be 'not used to new technology' (preposition error); 'the handwritten papers or letters would be much easier' should be 'handwritten letters are much easier' for clarity and correct tense/modal use. Suggestion: use 'used to' + noun, prefer 'handwritten letters' and simple present for general statements.

× Yes, I do carry paper and pens with me when I go out, especially when I go to work, we usually write notes through the use of paper and pens, especially if we have to write something that the resident needed so that we will not forget it.

✓ Yes, I do carry paper and pens with me when I go out. Especially at work, we usually write notes on paper and with pens when we need to record something a resident needs so we won't forget it.

Original is a run-on with inconsistent pronouns and tense. 'We usually write notes through the use of paper and pens' is wordy; use 'write notes on paper and with pens'. 'That the resident needed' mixes past tense; use present 'a resident needs'. Also split into two sentences for clarity. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and simplify phrasing.

× When I was a child what I do with the paper is to draw in it.

✓ When I was a child, what I did with paper was draw on it.

Tense mismatch: 'When I was a child' requires past tense 'did', not present 'do'. Preposition should be 'draw on it' not 'draw in it'. Suggestion: match past time reference with past tense verbs and use correct prepositions.

× When I was still a child, our teacher always wants us to draw during our art activity.

✓ When I was a child, our teacher always wanted us to draw during our art lessons.

Tense and agreement: 'When I was' requires past tense 'wanted' not present 'wants'. 'Art activity' is awkward; 'art lessons' or 'art class' is more natural. Suggestion: use past tense for past events and natural collocations like 'art lessons'.