Paper— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Speak more fluently and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also correct grammar: use past tense and proper prepositions (e.g., "when I was in kindergarten").

예시: Yes. I made lots of papercrafts when I was in kindergarten. For example, I often folded colorful paper to make animals and flowers, which I used to decorate my room.

제안: Answer directly and avoid absolute statements. Use a clear topic sentence and add a brief reason with a linking word. Improve grammar and pronoun use (e.g., "most people" not "no one").

예시: Not really. Most people rarely write physical letters today because they prefer email or messaging apps like WhatsApp, which are much faster and more convenient.

제안: Avoid absolute claims and repeat words. Use a structured reply: state your view, give a reason and a brief example. Clean up grammar (subject-verb agreement) and finish your thought.

예시: Some people still keep handwritten letters, but fewer than before. For instance, older relatives often save cards and notes as keepsakes, whereas younger people usually store messages digitally.

제안: Be more concise and confident. Use one clear topic sentence followed by a specific reason and an example. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., "when I go out" and "I might need to write something").

예시: Sometimes. I often bring a small notebook and a pen when I go out because I might need to jot down directions or important information, which is very useful.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence and add one or two specific examples with linking words. Reduce fillers and use smoother phrasing (e.g., "When I was a child").

예시: When I was a child, I loved making paper crafts. For example, I used to fold paper into flowers and animals and spend hours decorating them as a hobby.

× I, uh, made uh, papercraft, uh, in my childhood to my kindergarten, umm, it was very colorful and interesting.

✓ I made papercrafts when I was in kindergarten; they were very colorful and interesting.

The original sentence has issues with verb form and time expression. 'Made' is past tense and fine, but 'to my kindergarten' is incorrect preposition and phrase; use 'when I was in kindergarten'. 'Papercraft' should be plural 'papercrafts' or 'paper crafts' to match meaning (plural). Also combine clauses properly. Suggestion: use 'when I was in kindergarten' and pluralize the noun.

× Nowadays no one writes physical letters, Say just send message on their e-mail or use the app, WhatsApp or other social media and it's more convenient than physical letters.

✓ Nowadays no one writes physical letters; people just send messages by e-mail or use apps like WhatsApp or other social media, which are more convenient than physical letters.

Problems: missing subject 'people', incorrect verb forms ('send' should agree with subject), incorrect preposition 'on their e-mail' should be 'by e-mail' or 'via e-mail', and awkward clause 'Say just' removed. Also plural 'messages' fits general statement. Use relative clause 'which are more convenient' to refer to 'apps or social media'.

× Today, no one keep handwritten letters today because, umm, nowadays a lot of people uh, send to their e-mail if they want to umm, send invitation or umm, something like new and.

✓ Today no one keeps handwritten letters because many people send invitations or other messages to their e-mail if they want to.

Errors: subject-verb agreement: 'no one' is singular so use 'keeps' not 'keep'. Redundant time words 'today' and 'nowadays' removed. 'Send to their e-mail' should be 'send... to their e-mail' or 'send by e-mail'; simplified to 'send... to their e-mail'. The phrase 'something like new and' is incomplete and removed. Suggest clearer phrasing: 'send invitations or other messages to their e-mail'.

× I uh, sometimes carry paper and pens, uh, when I go hang out because, uh, there will be some situations where I will need write something. So it's umm, will be, umm, beneficial for me.

✓ I sometimes carry paper and pens when I go out because there are situations where I will need to write something, so it is beneficial for me.

Problems: 'go hang out' is informal and 'go out' is better; 'there will be some situations' is grammatical but simpler 'there are situations' fits present habitual context. Missing 'to' in 'need to write'. 'So it's will be' mixes forms; use 'so it is beneficial' or 'so it will be beneficial'. Suggest practice with infinitive after 'need' and consistent tense.

× In my childhood I loved umm, doing something with the paper, for example, umm crafts with them, some interesting uh, items like flowers or animals, and it was my hobby.

✓ In my childhood I loved doing things with paper, for example making crafts like flowers or animals; it was my hobby.

Errors: 'doing something with the paper' is awkward; use 'doing things with paper'. 'Crafts with them' incorrect pronoun reference; use 'making crafts'. 'Some interesting items like' is wordy; simplify to 'like flowers or animals'. Keep past tense 'loved' and 'was'. Suggest using 'doing things with paper' and correct verb 'making' for crafts.