Paper— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds (uh), and use correct verb forms. Add one specific example with a brief detail and use a linking phrase to connect ideas.

예시: Yes. I often make paper crafts, especially from colored paper. For example, I create birthday and Father’s Day cards with layered cut-outs and glued embellishments, which I give to family members. I also make small ornaments for home decoration.

제안: Correct grammar and be specific: say who you write to and why. Remove hesitations and avoid vague phrases like 'we all.' Use a linking word to give a clear reason.

예시: Yes. I still write physical letters sometimes, especially formal letters for work or handwritten notes for teachers. For example, I send signed reference letters for job applications because employers often require an original signature.

제안: Clarify and organize your response: state your main idea first, then give specific examples. Avoid redundancy and correct phrasing (e.g. 'depends on the person'). Use linking words like 'however' or 'for example.'

예시: Yes, many people still keep handwritten letters, but it depends on the person. For example, some people save love letters or correspondence from pen pals because they have sentimental value; however, others discard letters and rely on digital messages.

제안: Be concise and precise: remove fillers, use natural phrasing ('write things down' not 'note down the things that I really want'), and give one clear, specific example with a linking phrase.

예시: Yes. I usually carry a small notebook and a pen because I like to write things down. For example, when I visit a bank or book a hotel, I jot down reference numbers and details so I don't forget them.

제안: Use past tense and be specific: start with a clear past-tense topic sentence, avoid fillers, and give one or two concrete examples of a favorite project with brief detail. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'also.'

예시: As a child I loved making paper crafts. For example, I often made birthday cards using colored and glossy paper, and I also folded paper to create small ornaments to hang in my room.

× Of course I have made different types of crafts by using paper, specially from colored papers.

✓ Of course I have made different types of crafts using paper, especially from colored paper.

The sentence uses 'specially' which should be 'especially' (word choice/adverb) and 'by using paper' is wordy and less natural than 'using paper'. Also 'colored papers' is uncountable in this context; 'colored paper' is preferred. The main grammatical issue addressed is the past participle 'have made' is correct, so corrections focus on word form and noun usage. Suggestion: use 'especially' and treat 'paper' as an uncountable noun when referring to types or kinds (e.g., 'colored paper').

× Uh for instance like ornaments, birthday cards, then Father's Day cards I used to made by using paper craft.

✓ For instance, ornaments, birthday cards, and Father's Day cards I used to make using papercraft.

The phrase 'used to made' is incorrect because after 'used to' the verb should be in base form: 'make', not the past participle 'made'. Also 'papercraft' is a single word or 'paper craft' as a compound noun. Suggestion: use 'used to make' and streamline phrase order for clarity.

× Yes, of course I do write a physical letters, For instance, uh, when I, we all need physical letters when we are doing a work or when we are studying.

✓ Yes, of course I do write physical letters. For instance, we all need physical letters when we are doing work or when we are studying.

The phrase 'a physical letters' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'letters' — remove 'a'. Also capitalize after comma and delete extraneous 'uh, when I,'. 'Doing a work' is unnatural in English; use 'doing work' or 'doing a task'. Suggestion: remove incorrect article and unnecessary fillers.

× I think yes, and it depends on people to people earlier, uh, we used to write letters and still I think some people might, they have, for instance, love letters like pen friend letters, a few of them.

✓ I think yes, and it depends on the person. Earlier we used to write letters, and I think some people still have, for instance, love letters or pen-friend letters.

'It depends on people to people' is incorrect; use 'depends on the person' or 'depends from person to person'. The clause 'some people might, they have' has an unnecessary 'they' causing a pronoun error and redundancy. 'Pen friend' is usually 'pen-friend' or 'pen friend letters' may be 'letters from pen-friends'. Suggestion: use clear pronoun references and correct idiomatic expressions like 'person to person' or 'from person to person'.

× Of course, when I go out, I usually carry a pen or a pencil and a paper or a notebook with me because, uh, it's easy to note down the things that I really want.

✓ Of course, when I go out, I usually carry a pen or pencil and a piece of paper or a notebook with me because it's easy to note down the things I need.

'A paper' is incorrect when referring to a sheet; use 'a piece of paper' or just 'paper'. 'The things that I really want' is awkward; 'the things I need' is more natural. Remove filler 'uh' and redundant 'a' before 'pencil'. Suggestion: use 'a piece of paper' and concise phrasing.

× For instance, when I go to a bank or when I go to a hotel or something, I can note down the things what I need, uh.

✓ For instance, when I go to a bank or a hotel, I can note down the things that I need.

'Things what I need' is grammatically incorrect; use 'things that I need' or 'what I need'. Also 'go to a hotel or something' is vague; simplify to 'a hotel'. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: use correct relative pronoun 'that' and simplify lists.

× MMM As a child I can do so many things by using a paper.

✓ As a child I could do so many things using paper.

Talking about childhood is past time reference; use past modal 'could' instead of present 'can'. Also 'by using a paper' should be 'using paper' or 'using a piece of paper'. Suggestion: use past tense/modal when referring to childhood abilities.

× For instance, making crafts by using different types of coloured papers, varnish papers, litter papers.

✓ For instance, making crafts using different types of coloured paper, varnished paper, and recycled paper.

'Varnish papers' is incorrect; the adjective form 'varnished' is needed. 'Litter papers' is unclear; likely meant 'recycled paper' or 'scrap paper'. Also treat 'paper' as uncountable. Suggestion: use correct adjective forms and precise vocabulary.

× On top of that I can make a birthday cards, ornaments, beautiful uh, handmade items by using papers.

✓ On top of that, I could make birthday cards, ornaments, and beautiful handmade items using paper.

'A birthday cards' incorrectly combines singular article 'a' with plural 'cards' — remove 'a'. Since speaking about childhood, use past modal 'could' instead of 'can' to match past context. 'Using papers' should be 'using paper'. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: ensure articles agree with noun number and maintain tense consistency.