Paper— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific example of a craft you made. Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I have. I’ve enjoyed making paper crafts since childhood because they show my creativity. For example, I often fold origami animals like cranes and rabbits, which helps me relax and practise fine motor skills.

제안: Correct grammar and tighten phrasing. Begin with a direct answer, give a specific reason and a short example of when you write letters. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' once.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy writing physical letters because they take time and feel more personal. For example, I write handwritten birthday notes to my grandparents because a letter shows I made an effort and care about them.

제안: Avoid contradictory phrases and simplify. Give a clear opinion, explain why with one supporting point, and use a linking word like 'however' or 'although'.

예시: I think fewer people keep handwritten letters today because technology makes digital messages easier. However, handwritten letters are often kept as keepsakes since they feel more personal and meaningful.

제안: Remove fillers and repeat phrases. State your habit clearly, give one reason and an example of when you use your phone instead of paper. Use concise linking like 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Not usually. I prefer my phone because it’s faster and more convenient. For instance, I use a notes app to record ideas or shopping lists while I’m out.

제안: Correct mistakes and be specific. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and give one or two concrete examples of crafts or drawings you made as a child.

예시: As a child, I enjoyed making paper crafts and drawing. For example, I made paper animals and drew colourful pictures of my pets to express how I felt.

× I really enjoy making crafts with paper even when I was small or until now because it really shows my reflects my creativity and I can make and design any types of craft that I like that I want to make, which is.

✓ I really enjoy making paper crafts, both when I was small and now, because it reflects my creativity and I can design any type of craft I want to make.

The sentence mixes past and present incorrectly and has redundant and ungrammatical phrases. Use present tense 'enjoy' and 'reflects' for current habits; remove duplicated words ('shows my reflects') and redundant clauses ('that I like that I want to make, which is'). Use 'paper crafts' as a natural noun phrase and 'any type of craft' (singular 'type') for correctness. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Yes, I do. I really love writing physical letters because physical letters takes time for you to write.

✓ Yes, I do. I really love writing physical letters because physical letters take time to write.

Subject-verb agreement and article/number: 'letters' is plural so verb should be 'take' not 'takes'. Also omit 'for you' and use 'to write' for natural expression. Grammar problem type ID: 27

× So this really express and reflects how much care and love that shows to your friend or your family because it's something that you really have to spend time and time that you only focus on.

✓ So this really expresses and reflects how much care and love you show to your friends or family because it is something that requires time and focused attention.

Use third person singular 'expresses' to agree with singular subject 'this'. Remove redundant 'that shows' and awkward repetition 'time and time that you only focus on'. Use 'requires time and focused attention' to be clear and grammatical. Also pluralize 'friends' for generality. Grammar problem type ID: 2

× I think most of the people do because handwritten letters are becoming more less popular due to technological advancements because sometimes people just post Instagram stories or send a message.

✓ I think most people still do because handwritten letters are becoming less popular due to technological advancements; sometimes people just post Instagram stories or send messages.

'Most of the people' is wordy; use 'most people'. 'More less popular' is incorrect — use 'less popular'. Also 'send a message' should be plural 'send messages' for generality. Restructure the sentence with a semicolon or conjunction to separate clauses. Grammar problem type ID: 14

× But I think handwritten letters mean a lot more than digital message and more meaningful.

✓ But I think handwritten letters mean a lot more than digital messages and are more meaningful.

Parallel structure needed: compare 'letters' (plural) with 'messages' (plural) and use 'are more meaningful' to provide a verb for the second clause. 'More meaningful' must be linked with 'are'. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× I don't often carry paper pens when I go out because umm, my phone can do it all and do it quickly because in this world everything is very fast-paced.

✓ I don't often carry paper or pens when I go out because my phone can do everything quickly; the world is very fast-paced.

'Paper pens' is unclear—use 'paper or pens'. Avoid filler 'umm'. Replace 'do it all and do it quickly' with 'do everything quickly' for conciseness and correctness. Also separate the explanation about the world into a clear clause. Grammar problem type ID: 22

× So I think using a phone to record or memorise The thing is more convenient and faster.

✓ So I think using a phone to record or memorize things is more convenient and faster.

Capitalization error 'The' should be lowercase. 'Memorise the thing' is awkward; use 'memorize things' or 'remember things'. Use gerund phrase 'using a phone to record or memorize things' as subject with 'is'. Grammar problem type ID: 10

× I like making crowds with paper or drawing on paper because it expressed my creativity and it can also express my emotions at that moment because I can draw umm, things that I want to draw to show my emotions and also maybe some animals that I like to show my creativity.

✓ I liked making crafts with paper or drawing on paper because it expressed my creativity; it also let me express my emotions at the time, since I could draw things or animals to show how I felt.

'Making crowds with paper' is incorrect — likely 'crafts'. Match past tense 'did'/'liked' when discussing childhood: use past tense 'liked' and 'expressed'. Remove fillers and redundant phrases ('things that I want to draw'). Use clearer phrasing 'let me express my emotions' and simplify sentence into two clauses. Grammar problem type ID: 1