Headphones— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity: give a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and prepositions, and combine short fragmented sentences. Be specific about when and why you use them. Use linking words like 'when' and 'because'.

예시: Yes. I often use headphones when I travel by car or train and sometimes when I walk, because they help me relax and block out background noise.

제안: Use correct vocabulary and clearer reason: say 'wireless earphones' and replace 'code' with 'cord' or 'wire'. Correct the noun for place ('train' not 'tray'). Provide one concise reason and a short supporting detail using linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

예시: I prefer wireless earphones because they have no cords, so they’re much more comfortable and convenient on crowded trains.

제안: Fix grammar and word choice: use plural 'them' or 'headphones', correct prepositions, and avoid repetitions. Start with a direct topic sentence and add a linked reason. Be specific about activities and effects.

예시: I usually use headphones when I’m on a train, in a car, or walking, because listening to music helps me feel happier and more relaxed.

제안: Correct verb forms and pronouns, remove filler words, and make the reason precise. Use linking words like 'when' and 'because', and give a clear example of situations where you avoid headphones.

예시: I avoid using headphones when I’m talking with friends or reading, because music would distract me and make it hard to concentrate.

제안: Clarify the intended meaning: decide whether you mean comfortable or uncomfortable. Remove vague phrases like 'silly noise' and 'traffic collections'. Give one clear reason and a brief result using linking words. Keep it concise (max 3–4 sentences).

예시: It depends. Over long periods, headphones can become uncomfortable because they press on my ears, although they do help reduce traffic noise.

× Yes, I use headphones when I ride on car and ride a train or some walking time.

✓ Yes, I use headphones when I ride in a car, take a train, or walk.

Use correct prepositions and verbs for modes of transport: 'in a car' not 'on car', 'take a train' or 'ride a train' (commonly 'take' or 'ride on a train'), and use parallel structure for the list. Also use 'walk' rather than 'some walking time' for clarity.

× It can. It makes me relax.

✓ They help me relax.

'It can' is vague and singular while referring to headphones (plural). Combine ideas into one clear sentence: 'They help me relax.' matches plural subject and correct verb usage.

× I like the wireless earphone because the code is not disturbing me in that crowded tray.

✓ I like wireless earphones because the cord does not bother me in crowded trains.

Use plural 'earphones' for general preference, 'cord' not 'code', and 'bother' is more natural than 'disturbing me'. 'Crowded tray' is likely 'crowded trains' or 'on a crowded train'. Also adjust article usage and plurality.

× I use it forms when I ride a train or car and walking time.

✓ I use them when I ride a train or a car and when I walk.

Headphones are plural, so use 'them' not 'it'. Also maintain parallel verb forms and include articles: 'a car' and consistent 'when I walk'.

× It makes me happy and feelings good.

✓ They make me happy and feel good.

Match subject-verb agreement: 'they make' for plural headphones. Use base verb 'feel' after 'make' (not 'feelings'). Ensure correct adjective 'good'.

× I don't use it when I talking with friends and reading books because uh, music is can become will become a noise for me.

✓ I don't use them when I'm talking with friends or reading because music can become a distraction for me.

Use 'them' for plural headphones. Use progressive 'I'm talking' for ongoing action, and 'reading' parallel without 'with'. Remove redundant modal verbs: choose 'can become' or 'will become'; 'can become' fits better. 'Noise' better replaced by 'distraction'.

× No, wearing headphones is not comfortable because they cut the silly noise and traffic collections so it will become what not uncomfortable.

✓ No, wearing headphones is not comfortable because they block annoying noises and traffic sounds, so they can become uncomfortable.

Replace 'silly noise' with 'annoying noises' and 'traffic collections' with 'traffic sounds'. Use plural 'they' consistently and 'can become uncomfortable' for clarity. Remove 'what not' which is ungrammatical.