Headphones— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid fillers (uh, umm) and repetition. Use linking words for coherence (for example, when, while).

예시: Yes, I use headphones every day. I usually listen to podcasts or relaxing music while walking to my academy or when I get home, because they help me focus and unwind.

제안: Give a clear contrast between past and present with precise vocabulary and linked sentences. Avoid vague phrases and double negatives. Mention a specific feature and reason for preference.

예시: I used to have wired headphones, which were uncomfortable and often got tangled. Now I use AirPods Pro because they are wireless, comfortable and have active noise cancellation, so I can listen without distractions.

제안: Structure the answer with a topic sentence and add one or two specific situations. Replace repetitive words and use linking words like when and or to improve flow.

예시: I mainly use headphones when commuting to and from my academy. For example, I listen to music while walking there and watch short videos on my way home to relax.

제안: Provide a clear list of conditions and avoid hesitations. Use precise phrasing (e.g., 'when the battery is dead' or 'during important meetings'). Explain briefly why you avoid them in those situations.

예시: I wouldn't use headphones if the battery is dead or during important meetings and classes, because I need to pay attention and it's impolite to listen to something in those situations.

제안: Answer directly, then give one or two specific reasons and avoid excessive adjectives and fillers. Use comparative language correctly and give an example of a comfortable feature.

예시: Yes, wearing good-quality headphones is comfortable. For instance, Bluetooth earbuds with a soft silicone fit and light weight are much more comfortable than old wired models and make listening for long periods pleasant.

× Yes, of course I use headphones like everyday.

✓ Yes, of course I use headphones every day.

'Every day' should be two words and 'like' is filler and unnecessary. Use 'every day' as an adverbial phrase to indicate frequency. Remove 'like' for clarity.

× Uh, I just listen like some podcast, uh, some music when I, when I go into my Academy or I uh came to my house, just umm, just chilling music or podcast, I use them uh, it's very comfortable to me.

✓ I just listen to podcasts or music when I go to my academy or come home; I listen to chill music or podcasts. They are very comfortable for me.

Use 'listen to' with the object. 'Podcast' should be plural when speaking generally. Use parallel verbs in present tense: 'go' and 'come', not 'came'. 'Chilling music' is unnatural; use 'chill music'. Use 'comfortable for me' rather than 'to me'. Split into clearer clauses and remove filler 'like'.

× Like long long time ago I have my headphones with cables and it is like more distracting me and this is not uncomfortable.

✓ A long time ago I had wired headphones, and they were more distracting and uncomfortable.

When referring to the past, use past tense 'had' not 'have'. 'Headphones with cables' is better as 'wired headphones'. 'It is like more distracting me' is ungrammatical; use 'they were more distracting' and 'uncomfortable' rather than 'not uncomfortable' to convey intended meaning.

× But now I have my new Airpods Pro so this is like more comfortable to me.

✓ But now I have new AirPods Pro, so they are much more comfortable for me.

Refer to 'AirPods' in plural and with correct capitalization. Use plural pronoun 'they' for headphones. Replace informal 'like' and use 'much more comfortable for me' for clarity.

× It's working with like Bluetooth and it's great.

✓ They work via Bluetooth, and they are great.

Use present simple 'work' for general function, not 'it's working'. Refer to 'AirPods' as 'they'. Use 'via Bluetooth' instead of colloquial 'with like Bluetooth'.

× Especially I use my headphones like when I go to my Academy Academy just by walking myself and when I go home from Academy just like I listen to the music or view some videos with my headphones and it's comfortable.

✓ I especially use my headphones when I walk to my academy and when I go home; I listen to music or watch videos with them because it is comfortable.

Remove filler 'like' and duplicate 'Academy'. Use 'walk to my academy' instead of 'just by walking myself'. Use 'watch videos' rather than 'view some videos'. Use 'them' for headphones and simplify clauses.

× Uh, I feel like maybe uh, my iPods have no like 0 uh percent of battery uh power uh or like if it's like serious meeting or like in class I don't use them, but in home like outside, I always use them to like chill out.

✓ For example, if my AirPods have 0 percent battery, or if there is a serious meeting or class, I don't use them; otherwise, I use them at home or outside to relax.

Replace 'iPods' with 'AirPods' if referring to same device. Use clear conditional structure 'if ... then ...'. 'Have 0 percent battery' is acceptable but should be phrased clearly. Avoid excessive 'like' and filler. Use 'relax' instead of 'chill out' for formality.

× Yes of course it's way better like if you have uh like uh better or like the good headphones it would be way comfortable to use them uh.

✓ Yes, of course it is much better: if you have good headphones, they are much more comfortable to use.

Use 'it is' or 'they are' consistently; 'headphones' is plural so use 'they'. Avoid conditional 'would be' when stating a general truth; use present simple. Remove filler 'like' and use 'much' instead of 'way' for formality.

× It was so so amazing like if it's with like Bluetooth it's like on another level uh yeah it's great to chill out and it's really.

✓ They are amazing; with Bluetooth they feel on another level. They are great for relaxing.

Sentence is fragmented and switches tenses ('was' then 'it's'). Maintain present tense for current features. Remove repetitive 'like' and complete the final clause. Use short clear sentences.