Headphones— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid hesitation. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Reduce filler words like "hmm".

예시: Yes, I use headphones, but not very often. I mainly wear them when I'm in noisy places so I can hear music or videos clearly, and sometimes I use them to avoid disturbing others.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence naming the type, then give concise reasons with linking words. Use more natural phrasing and correct tense/word choice (e.g., "for a long time" → "after wearing them for a long time").

예시: I prefer over‑ear headphones that are soft and easy to clean, because wearing earphones for a long time makes my ears sore.

제안: Remove repetition and hesitations. Provide a clear topic sentence and add one specific example or situation with a linking word to make the answer more vivid.

예시: I usually use headphones when my surroundings are noisy, such as on a busy bus, and also when I don't want to disturb people at home while watching videos.

제안: Avoid hesitations and repeat words. Give a clear topic sentence, then add a brief specific example and a linking word to connect ideas. Correct grammar (e.g., "when I'm in class").

예시: I wouldn't wear headphones when someone is speaking to me because it's rude; likewise, I avoid them in class so I don't miss important information.

제안: Provide a concise opinion first, then support it with a specific reason and a short consequence. Fix grammar and remove trailing words.

예시: I don't find headphones comfortable because they often make my ears sore, so I only wear them for short periods.

× I only use earphones to listen music or watch videos in a very noisy environment or sometimes I don't want to trouble others.

✓ I only use earphones to listen to music or watch videos in a very noisy environment, or sometimes when I don't want to trouble others.

After the verb 'listen' the preposition 'to' is required before the object 'music' (verb + preposition usage). Also added 'when' to clarify the time clause and a comma for readability. Suggestion: practice common verb+preposition pairs such as 'listen to' and read example sentences.

× I use headphones that are comfortable to wear and easy to maintain because long time wearing earphones will make me feel uncomfortable.

✓ I use headphones that are comfortable to wear and easy to maintain because wearing earphones for a long time makes me feel uncomfortable.

Use the gerund 'wearing' correctly and the expression 'for a long time' for duration; change 'will make' to simple present 'makes' because it describes a general truth. Also 'long time wearing' is ungrammatical word order. Suggestion: use 'for a long time' and prefer present simple for habitual effects.

× I use headphones especially when I when when when my surroundings are very noisy and sometimes when I don't want to disturb others.

✓ I use headphones especially when my surroundings are very noisy and sometimes when I don't want to disturb others.

Remove the repeated filler words 'when' which are disfluent. The sentence otherwise uses correct subject-verb agreement. Suggestion: avoid repetitions by pausing briefly and then continuing the sentence.

× When someone is talking to me, I, I would not use headphones because I think it is not, uh, it is not very polite. And sometimes, umm, when, when, when I in the classroom.

✓ When someone is talking to me, I would not use headphones because I think it is not very polite. Sometimes I also do not use them in the classroom.

Removed repeated fillers and completed the fragment 'when I in the classroom' to a full clause 'in the classroom'. Also combined short sentences for clarity. Suggestion: form complete clauses and avoid filler words; practice speaking full sentences: 'I do not use them in the classroom.'

× I don't think wearing them is comfortable because it will make my ears feel hurt or sore so I'm not always wearing them it.

✓ I don't think wearing them is comfortable because they make my ears hurt or feel sore, so I don't always wear them.

Change 'will make' to present simple 'make' for a habitual/general effect; use 'hurt' or 'feel sore' (not 'make my ears feel hurt'); correct pronoun reference and remove extra 'it' at end; use 'wear' instead of continuous 'wearing' for habitual action. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual/general statements and check sentence endings for stray words.