Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: ปรับโครงสร้างประโยคให้ชัดเจน เริ่มด้วยประโยคสั้นตรงคำถาม แล้วอธิบายเหตุผลโดยใช้คำเชื่อมอย่างชัดเจน ลดคำซ้ำและแก้ไวยากรณ์ เช่น ใช้ “both” ให้ถูกต้องและใช้รูปประโยคที่เป็นธรรมชาติ

예시: I like both sad and happy music. They suit different situations, so I choose the type of music that matches my mood at the time.

제안: แก้คำศัพท์ผิดและใช้โครงสร้างที่เป็นธรรมชาติเพื่ออธิบายผลกระทบของเพลงอย่างเฉพาะเจาะจง ใช้คำเชื่อมเช่น “so” หรือ “therefore” และแบ่งประโยคยาวเป็นสองประโยคเพื่อความชัดเจน

예시: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more energetic. So when I am tired or sad, I listen to upbeat songs to cheer myself up.

제안: จัดลำดับข้อมูลให้เป็นระบบ กล่าวตรงๆ ว่าเคยเรียนไหม ระบุระยะเวลาและสิ่งที่เรียนอย่างชัดเจน แก้ไวยากรณ์เช่น tense และคำที่ใช้ผิด (เช่น “checked” → “taken”, “historical of music”→“history of music”)

예시: Yes, I took a music class when I was 17. It lasted about two months and we listened to different pieces and studied the history of music.

제안: ลดคำเติม (uh) และปรับคำศัพท์ให้เหมาะสม ใช้ประโยคที่กระชับและเชื่อมความคิดด้วยคำเชื่อม เช่น “for example” หรือ “for instance” ระบุชนิดของเพลงที่ฟังให้ชัดเจน

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities. For example, when I study I usually play upbeat or relaxing music to help me concentrate.

× I prefer to listen both of them sad and happy music because in every situation there are they have a different emotional so which can choose the music that leads to your emotional on that moment.

✓ I prefer to listen to both sad and happy music because in every situation they have different emotions, so you can choose music that matches your emotion at that moment.

The sentence uses incorrect pronouns and word order. 'Listen' requires the preposition 'to'. 'Both of them sad and happy music' is incorrect; use 'both sad and happy music'. 'There are they have a different emotional' is ungrammatical; use 'they have different emotions' or 'music evokes different emotions'. 'Which can choose the music that leads to your emotional on that moment' is incorrect; use 'so you can choose music that matches your emotion at that moment'. Suggestions: use correct prepositions (listen to), simplify structure, and use 'you' instead of awkward pronoun placements.

× Yes, I think most of happy music always make me feel really excited and I convict myself up when I feel tired and I feel sad, I can listen to those happy music.

✓ Yes, I think most happy music always makes me feel really excited, and it cheers me up when I feel tired or sad; I can listen to that happy music.

Subject-verb agreement and word choice errors: 'most of happy music' should be 'most happy music'. The verb must agree: 'music ... makes' (third person singular). 'Convict myself up' is incorrect usage; use 'cheer me up'. Use 'that' or 'those' consistently; 'music' is uncountable so 'that happy music' is better. Suggestions: ensure subject-verb agreement and use appropriate idiomatic verbs.

× Yeah I have been checked the music class around 2 month is in my class at 17 years old and I have to listen the music and study the historical of music.

✓ Yes, I took a music class for about two months when I was 17, and I had to listen to music and study the history of music.

Tense and verb form errors: 'have been checked the music class' is incorrect; use simple past 'took a music class' for a completed action in the past. 'Around 2 month' should be 'about two months'. 'Is in my class at 17 years old' should be 'when I was 17'. 'I have to listen the music' requires 'listen to' and past context 'I had to'. 'Study the historical of music' should be 'study the history of music'. Suggestions: use simple past for past completed events, correct prepositions, and use 'history' for the subject.

× Yes, I do. I always listen to the music when I do something uh, that I need truly relaxed. Like when I study, I always start study with listen to uh, happy music and relax music.

✓ Yes, I do. I always listen to music when I need to relax. For example, when I study, I always start studying by listening to happy music and relaxing music.

Present tense and verb form errors: 'when I do something that I need truly relaxed' is ungrammatical; use 'when I need to relax'. 'Start study with listen to' mixes base forms incorrectly; use 'start studying by listening to'. 'Relax music' should be 'relaxing music'. Suggestions: keep consistent present tense, use gerunds after 'start' and correct adjective forms.