Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two specific details. Avoid filler words (uh, um) and repetition. Use linking words like “when” and “because” to connect ideas and provide a brief example of a situation.

예시: I prefer different types of music depending on my mood. For example, I listen to sad songs when I want to reflect or relax, but I choose upbeat, energetic tracks when I’m driving or exercising because they boost my energy.

제안: Give a clear, focused response and quantify or describe the effect concisely. Reduce hesitation and avoid long, repetitive phrases. Use a linking phrase like “for example” or “for instance” to introduce a specific habit or situation and mention how long or when you listen to such music.

예시: Yes, happy music usually lifts my mood and makes me feel more energetic. For instance, after a long or tiring week I often listen to upbeat playlists for about an hour to cheer myself up and regain motivation.

제안: Answer directly then expand with one clear reason and a brief detail. Avoid contradictions and hesitations. Use linking words like “but” or “however” to contrast playing an instrument with not taking classes, and provide a short explanation of interest in piano.

예시: No, I haven’t taken formal music classes. I can play the guitar at home, but I stopped practicing because I lost interest; now I’m more attracted to piano music and might take lessons in the future.

제안: Be concise and give a clear reason plus one specific example of an activity. Avoid redundant phrases and repetition. Use linking words such as “because” and “for example” to connect your reason and example.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while I work because it helps me concentrate. For example, I play instrumental playlists while studying or doing chores to stay focused and avoid silence.

× Uh, it depends actually on my mood.

✓ It actually depends on my mood.

Word order and redundant filler words: 'Uh' and 'actually' placement is awkward. Use 'It actually depends on my mood.' to follow standard English subject-verb order and reduce fillers.

× I usually wear, uh, I usually, I mean, uh, listen to sad music when I'm feeling down or, uh, not in the mood for happy music and uh, listen to happy music and uh, more energetic music, uh, for happy moods or even for driving.

✓ I usually listen to sad music when I'm feeling down or not in the mood for happy music, and I listen to happy or more energetic music when I'm in a good mood or driving.

Incorrect verb 'wear' is used instead of 'listen'. Also run-on sentence with repeated fillers. Use parallel structure: 'listen to sad music' and 'listen to happy or more energetic music', and correct time clause 'when I'm in a good mood or driving.' This fixes verb choice and clarity.

× Yes, happy music, uh, usually lifts my mood to better, uh, even on uh, uh, draining weekends or uh, long week, uh, I usually, uh, keep a day or even uh, one hour or two hours of listening to happy music or uh, more energetic music that keep me up or cheers me up.

✓ Yes, happy music usually lifts my mood, even on draining weekends or after a long week. I often spend a day or an hour or two listening to happy or more energetic music that keeps me awake and cheers me up.

Tense and agreement issues: 'lifts my mood to better' is incorrect; use 'lifts my mood'. 'long week' should be 'after a long week'. Subject-verb agreement: 'music that keep me up' should be 'music that keeps me up'. Use consistent present simple and correct quantifiers 'an hour or two'.

× No, I, uh, have a instrument in my house and uh, I play guitar actually, but I don't, uh, I don't really, uh, use it because uh, I don't umm, find it interesting anymore.

✓ No, I have an instrument at home and I actually play the guitar, but I don't really use it because I don't find it interesting anymore.

Article errors: 'a instrument' should be 'an instrument'. Preposition: 'in my house' is more natural as 'at home'. Also add definite article with 'the guitar' when speaking about the instrument you play. Remove filler words for clarity.

× I'm more interested in piano music and instruments.

✓ I'm more interested in piano music and the piano.

Word choice and article: 'instruments' is vague; if you mean the piano specifically, say 'the piano'. Use consistent noun forms for clarity.

× Yes, I often do that a lot because the music really keeps me focused on things that I I'm working with or keeps my hands busy and my ears busy.

✓ Yes, I often do that because music helps me focus on the tasks I'm working on and keeps my hands and my ears busy.

Redundancy: 'often do that a lot' is repetitive; use one adverb. Phrase corrections: 'focused on things that I I'm working with' is ungrammatical; use 'focus on the tasks I'm working on'. Parallel structure: 'keeps my hands and my ears busy.'

× I don't really like hearing just brown noise or blank noise without any music.

✓ I don't really like hearing just brown noise or white noise without any music.

Word choice: 'blank noise' is not a standard term; likely meant 'white noise'. Use the correct adjective 'white' for the common noise type.