Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は意図は伝わりますが、文法ミス、冗長さ、語順の誤りが多く、接続や具体性が不足しています。改善点：①文法（主語と動詞の一致、不要な助動詞の削除）を直す。②一文目で明確な主題文を作る。③理由を2点までに絞り、それぞれを具体例で補う。④接続詞（because, so, for example）を適切に使い、冗長な繰り返しを避ける。

예시: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and makes me smile. For example, when I listen to upbeat songs at home, I feel more energetic and motivated to start my day.

제안: 回答は情熱を示していますが、内容が断片的で同じ考えの繰り返しが多く、時制や語順の誤りがあります。改善点：①直接質問に対する簡潔な主題文で始める。②具体的な説明や例を1つ加える。③過去形と現在完了形を正しく使う（e.g. "since I was a child"）。④不要な感情表現の繰り返しを控える。

예시: Yes, happy music definitely excites me because it raises my energy and makes me want to move. For instance, upbeat songs help me concentrate while exercising or boost my mood before meeting friends.

제안: 意図は伝わるが、文法（時制・数・助動詞）、語順、言い淀みが目立ちます。改善点：①明確な主題文で期間と過去の活動を述べる（e.g. "I took piano lessons as a child"）。②期間は一つにまとめて正確に言う。③現在の状況を簡潔に述べ、例を付ける。④言い淀みを減らす練習をする。

예시: Yes, I took piano lessons when I was a child for about ten years. I still play occasionally now to relax and practice simple pieces like hymns or pop songs.

제안: 答えは明確で日常的な例を挙げていますが、文法（現在形の一致、語順）、接続表現の不足、冗長な列挙が見られます。改善点：①現在形の正しい形（"I always listen"）を使う。②接続詞（while, when, for example）で状況を整理する。③主要な例を2つに絞って具体性を出す。

예시: Yes, I always listen to music while doing other things. For example, I often play music when I study English at home or when I commute by train, because it helps me focus and relax.

× I prefer happy music because happy music is makes me happy and makes me smile and people health is good and also for example my favorite song is my happy song.

✓ I prefer happy music because it makes me happy and makes me smile, and it is good for people's health; for example, my favorite song is 'My Happy Song'.

The sentence contains adjective/adverb misuse and several structural errors. Use 'it makes me happy' instead of 'happy music is makes me happy' to avoid redundant verb forms. Use 'people's health' (possessive noun) rather than 'people health'. Add punctuation to separate ideas and use a title format for a song. Suggestion: simplify clauses and use possessive forms for clarity.

× Yes, of course. Music is my life. No music, no life. I've been listening to music when I was child and I can't imagine. I can't. No music life.

✓ Yes, of course. Music is my life. No music, no life. I've been listening to music since I was a child, and I can't imagine life without it.

Mixes present perfect continuous with a past time expression. Use 'I've been listening to music since I was a child' to indicate an action continuing from the past to the present. Include 'a' in 'a child' and finish the idea with 'life without it' for clarity. Recommendation: use 'since' with present perfect continuous for actions that started in the past and continue now.

× Uh, yes, when I were childhood, I played music, uh, I played a piano. Umm, it's about four, uh, no, uh, 10 years, a decade. Umm, I've recently I play music, uh, playing the piano. So for example.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I played music; I played the piano. It was about ten years, a decade. Recently, I have been playing the piano again.

Incorrect past tense 'were' should be 'was' for singular first person. 'Played a piano' should be 'played the piano' or 'played piano'. Use 'It was about ten years' to refer to the duration. For recent continuous activity, use present perfect continuous: 'I have been playing the piano again.' Suggestion: choose consistent tense and articles ('a' vs 'the') and avoid filler words.

× Ah yes, I always listening to the music I for example I'm studying English and working on the PC and writing on train and walking on the street everywhere I do.

✓ Ah yes, I'm always listening to music; for example, I'm studying English, working on the PC, writing on the train, and walking on the street — I listen everywhere I go.

Article and verb form issues: use 'listening' with auxiliary 'am' ('I'm always listening'). Omit 'the' before 'music' in general statements. Use 'on the train' with the definite article and remove 'the' before 'PC' if unnecessary. Reorder items with commas and use 'everywhere I go' for natural expression. Suggestion: use correct auxiliary verbs and articles and parallel structure in lists.