Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 発音や文法の不安定さ（詰まりや繰り返し）が目立ちます。まずは短く明確な主述を言い切り、その後で理由を一つか二つ具体的に述べてください。例えば接続詞（because, so, therefore）や語順に気をつけ、不要なフィラー（uh, umm）を減らす練習をします。また“sense”は不自然なので“mood”や“feel”など適切な語を使い、文は最大5文以内に収めてください。練習方法：答えを3パターン用意し、声に出して繰り返す。

예시: I prefer happy music. I find it improves my mood and helps me stay positive. For example, when I listen to upbeat songs in the morning, I feel more energetic and ready for the day.

제안: 回答が冗長で自己矛盾や文法ミスが含まれています。まずは短い肯定文で答え、その後に理由を一つ明確に述べてください。接続語（because, so, which）を使って論理をつなぎ、代名詞や時制の一致に注意します。例を入れると説得力が増します。フィラーを減らすため、答えを一度頭の中で組み立ててから話しましょう。

예시: Yes, it does. Happy music energizes me, so I can concentrate better on tasks and I don't feel sleepy. For instance, when I study with lively songs, I stay focused for longer periods.

제안: 考えは伝わりますが、繰り返しや不自然な表現（"to you"など）があるため、より自然な語順と簡潔な表現を練習してください。まずは直接的に“No, I haven't.”と答え、その後に理由と代替手段（e.g. practice at home, karaoke）を一つ二つ述べます。過去形と現在形の使い分けにも注意しましょう。

예시: No, I haven't taken any music classes. I wanted to improve my singing, but I felt too shy to join a class, so I practice alone by singing karaoke at home.

제안: 内容は良いですが、冗長な繰り返しと不安定な構文が目立ちます。簡潔に答え、理由を一つか二つで補足してください。接続詞（because, when）を正しく使い、重複を避ける練習をしましょう。具体的な場面（walking, studying）や効果（relaxed, more alert）を示すと良いです。

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while walking or doing chores. When I listen to upbeat songs, I feel more awake and less sleepy, which helps me get things done more efficiently.

× I like, uh, I prefer happy music and because uh, happy music made me uh, happy sense, umm, and I can uh, live, uh, positively.

✓ I prefer happy music because it makes me feel happy and helps me live positively.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and has unclear references (use 'it' to refer to music). Also tense and word choice: use present simple 'makes' for general truth. Remove filler words and reorder for clarity. Use 'feel happy' rather than 'happy sense' and 'helps me live positively' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, umm, I agree with their idea that umm, uh, happy music, uh, made me more excited.

✓ Yes, I agree with that idea: happy music makes me more excited.

The sentence incorrectly uses past tense 'made' when describing a general effect of music; present simple 'makes' is correct. Also 'their idea' is vague; 'that idea' or 'that' is clearer. Use present tense for habitual or general statements.

× Excited made me more like, make me, makes me more excited and I can concentrate on some uh, tasks, uh, and not feeling sleepy.

✓ It makes me more excited and helps me concentrate on tasks instead of feeling sleepy.

The sentence has fragmented clauses and incorrect pronoun/subject usage. Introduce 'It' to refer to music, use consistent verb forms ('makes' and 'helps'), and change 'not feeling sleepy' to 'instead of feeling sleepy' for grammaticality.

× I have not taken any music classes although I wanted to sing better better but I was I was so shy person so I cannot participate in the class.

✓ I have not taken any music classes, although I wanted to sing better; I was a very shy person, so I could not participate in class.

Mixes present perfect with past simple appropriately but needs past modality: 'could not' or 'was unable to' is correct for past inability. Also article 'a shy person' required and remove repeated words. Use commas and conjunctions to join clauses clearly.

× I use karaoke by myself to you.

✓ I practice karaoke by myself.

Original phrase 'to you' is unnecessary and ungrammatical. Use 'practice karaoke by myself' to express singing alone for practice. Keep verb-object order and remove extraneous pronoun.

× Yes I think I I listen to music while walking or doing any tasks because that's because if if not listening music I also I I usually feel sleepy but music makes me relaxed and excited.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while walking or doing tasks because if I do not listen to music I usually feel sleepy; music makes me relaxed and excited.

Fix pronoun and auxiliary usage: use 'if I do not listen to music' instead of 'if not listening music'. Remove duplicate fillers and use present simple for habitual actions. Punctuate to separate clauses and use 'relaxed and excited' as parallel adjectives.