Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct grammar (e.g., 'listen to happy music'), and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep to under five sentences.

예시: I prefer happy music because it helps me relax and improves my mood. For example, upbeat pop songs energize me after a long day and make it easier to focus on my homework.

제안: Answer directly and clearly, using correct grammar and specific examples. Use a linking phrase to connect your main idea to examples (e.g., 'For instance'). Avoid repetition and filler words.

예시: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited. For instance, fast pop songs with strong beats make me want to move and lift my spirits during exercise or while studying.

제안: Use correct tense and clearer phrasing. Begin with a direct answer, then explain with a reason and a plan. Provide one specific detail (what kind of class) and use linking words like 'however' or 'because'.

예시: No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I plan to in the future because I enjoy singing. For example, I would like to join a beginner vocal class in my free time to learn proper techniques and improve my pitch.

제안: Organize your answer: start with a topic sentence that directly answers, then give two specific activities and explain why. Reduce fillers and correct collocations (e.g., 'energetic vibe', 'listen to music while exercising').

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while exercising and playing video games because upbeat tracks give me energy and help me concentrate. For example, I usually put on fast pop or electronic music during my morning workout to stay motivated.

× Uh, I usually like uh, happy music because, uh, it makes me feel uh, relaxed whenever it's, uh, listen happy music and it gives me, it gives me a good vibes and it makes me relax.

✓ Uh, I usually like happy music because it makes me feel relaxed whenever I listen to happy music, and it gives me good vibes and helps me relax.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and verb forms: 'it's, uh, listen happy music' should be 'I listen to happy music' (correct subject and verb form plus preposition 'to'). 'a good vibes' mixes singular article with plural noun; change to 'good vibes' without 'a'. Also 'it makes me relax' is acceptable but 'helps me relax' is more natural here. Suggestion: ensure the subject matches the verb and use correct prepositions with 'listen' and correct article usage with countable/uncountable nouns.

× As uh, it makes me feel more excited because uh, they are at different kinds of happy music also, uh, like pop music, uh uh la lop music. It makes me feel uh, it gives me a good vibes.

✓ Yes, it makes me feel more excited because there are different kinds of happy music, like pop music. It gives me good vibes.

Errors include incorrect reference pronoun 'they are at' and unnecessary word 'at'. Use 'there are' to introduce existence of different kinds (There be issue and subject-verb agreement). 'a good vibes' is incorrect; use 'good vibes'. Also remove redundant fillers. Suggestion: use 'there are' to state existence and match plural 'kinds' with plural verb 'are', and avoid mixing singular articles with plural nouns.

× No I haven't take my any music classes but in future I probably should choose a music class in my leisure time because I have always pass on for uh learning music and I usually uh sing a song like.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes, but in the future I will probably choose a music class in my leisure time because I have always wanted to learn music and I usually sing sometimes.

'haven't take' is incorrect; the present perfect requires past participle 'taken' (verb in the past participle form). 'probably should' can be simplified to 'will probably' to express future intention. 'I have always pass on for learning music' is ungrammatical; correct meaning is likely 'I have always wanted to learn music'. 'I usually uh sing a song like' is incomplete; change to 'I usually sing sometimes' or 'I usually sing'. Suggestion: use correct past participle with have/has, choose appropriate modal/future construction, and use clear verbs like 'want' or 'want to learn'.

× Uh, like, you know, my doing, uh, exercise time and sometimes playing games, I listen to music because, uh, it gives me a energetic vibe. So whenever I do uh, exercise and listening music and uh, I prefer to launch music.

✓ When I'm exercising or sometimes playing games, I listen to music because it gives me an energetic vibe. So whenever I exercise and listen to music, I prefer to play music.

Problems: 'my doing exercise time' is incorrect word order; use 'when I'm exercising'. 'a energetic' should be 'an energetic' (article before vowel sound). 'listening music' needs preposition 'to' or change to 'listen to music'. 'prefer to launch music' is incorrect verb choice; use 'play music'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions with 'listen to', correct article 'an' before vowel sounds, and choose appropriate verbs like 'play' for playing music. Also maintain parallel structure 'exercise and listen'.