Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words (e.g., "I I", "I don't know"). Also correct tense and phrasing: say "it gives me peace and soothes me" instead of "it give me peace and sad heart."

예시: I usually prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and makes me feel energetic. However, sometimes I play sad songs while showering because they calm me and help me reflect. For example, a slow piano piece helps me relax after a stressful day.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and then a specific supporting detail with a linking word. Remove repetition and improve phrasing: replace "it reflects how happy I am" with "it boosts my energy" and explain how. Keep it to one or two sentences.

예시: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms and positive lyrics boost my energy. For instance, when I listen to pop songs with a fast tempo, I feel more motivated to exercise or work.

제안: Answer directly and give a concise reason. Avoid vague phrases like "not totally"; use clear statements and link ideas (e.g., "so"). Mention a specific class or instrument if possible to add detail.

예시: Yes, I took music classes in grade school where I learned basic music theory and recorder. However, I don't take lessons now because I mainly enjoy listening to music rather than performing.

제안: Combine into one clear sentence with a topic sentence plus a supporting detail using a linking word. Correct tense and be specific about what you do (study, cook, commute) and how music helps (improves focus, motivation).

예시: Yes, I often listened to music during college because it helped me concentrate and motivated me to finish homework. For example, I usually played instrumental tracks while studying to avoid distractions.

× I prefer happy music but sometimes when I go to shower and I like to listen to music I I play sad because I don't know it give me peace and sad heart at the same time.

✓ I prefer happy music, but sometimes when I take a shower and like to listen to music, I play sad songs because I don't know, they give me peace and a sad feeling at the same time.

Errors: 'go to shower' is incorrect; use 'take a shower' (verb phrase collocation). 'I I' is a repetition. 'I play sad' misses a noun; use 'sad songs'. 'it give' has incorrect verb form and pronoun agreement; use 'they give' and 'give' for plural. 'sad heart' is unnatural; use 'a sad feeling'. Suggestions: use correct collocations ('take a shower'), avoid word repetition, ensure pronoun-antecedent agreement and use appropriate noun forms for clarity.

× Yes, it makes me happy because it reflects how happy I am when I'm listening to happy music and and it will be able to to relate to that music.

✓ Yes, it makes me happy because it reflects how I feel when I'm listening to happy music, and I can relate to that music.

Errors: repeated 'and and' and 'to to' are simple duplications. 'reflects how happy I am when I'm listening' is wordy; 'reflects how I feel' is clearer. 'it will be able to to relate to that music' is incorrect subject and modal use: music cannot 'relate'; the listener relates. Use present ability 'I can relate'. Suggestions: remove duplicates, match subject with correct verb, use concise phrasing and correct modal/ability expressions.

× Yes, when I was in grade school, but now not totally.

✓ Yes, when I was in grade school, but not anymore.

Errors: 'but now not totally' is awkward and ungrammatical. Use 'but not anymore' to indicate cessation. Maintain past reference with 'when I was'. Suggestions: use standard phrases for contrast like 'but not anymore' or 'but I don't now'.

× I just listen to music because I'm not a singer and I don't need to go to music classes anymore.

✓ I just listen to music because I'm not a singer, so I don't need to take music classes anymore.

Errors: 'go to music classes' is acceptable but 'take music classes' is the more natural collocation. Also add linking word 'so' for clarity. Suggestions: prefer natural collocations ('take classes') and add connectors to show cause-effect.

× Yes, when I was in my college days. Because music can also be a motivation when doing homework.

✓ Yes, when I was in college, because music can also be motivating when I do homework.

Errors: 'in my college days' is informal/awkward; 'in college' is standard. Sentence fragment: 'Yes, when I was in my college days.' should be combined with the next clause or completed. 'a motivation' is noun usage; 'motivating' (adjective) fits better. 'when doing homework' lacks subject; use 'when I do homework'. Suggestions: combine fragments into a full sentence, use natural expressions ('in college'), prefer 'motivating', and include subjects for clarity.