Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples and a brief reason. Use linking words (e.g., 'because' or 'so') and correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'alive' → 'feel alive', 'that really fits my emotion' → 'that matches my mood'). Keep it under five sentences.

예시: I prefer different types of music depending on my mood. When I'm happy, I listen to upbeat pop or dance tracks because they make me feel energetic. But when I'm sad, I choose soft acoustic or ballads because they calm me and match my feelings.

제안: Give a clearer, more natural explanation with one or two specific examples of how happy music affects you. Avoid informal phrases like 'gonna' and unnecessary repetition ('exciting things' twice). Use linking words such as 'because' or 'for example.'

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because the upbeat rhythm boosts my energy. For example, I often play lively songs before a workout or when I need to concentrate on a creative task.

제안: Answer directly and give a concise, specific reason for stopping. Avoid vague phrasing like 'just for any reason' and repeated words 'just.' Use one or two sentences total and a linking word like 'because' or 'so.'

예시: I haven't taken formal music classes, but I used to sing in a choir. I stopped participating because I wanted to use my free time to study and practice singing at home instead.

제안: Make the response more natural and grammatically correct by using a clear topic sentence and one short list of activities. Use linking words like 'because' and correct phrasing (e.g., 'listen to music', 'boring tasks'). Keep it within three sentences.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing household tasks because it makes them less boring. For example, I usually play podcasts or upbeat songs when washing dishes, doing laundry, or cleaning the house.

× It depends on my emotion, if I'm happy I choose different music that can make me alive or if I am sad I'll choose soft music and also that really fits my emotion.

✓ It depends on my mood. If I'm happy, I choose music that makes me feel alive; if I'm sad, I choose soft music that fits my mood.

The original sentence has run-on structure and awkward word choice. 'Emotion' is better as 'mood'. Use a period or semicolon to separate independent clauses and maintain parallel structure for the two conditions. 'Make me alive' is unnatural; use 'makes me feel alive'. Keep pronouns and noun choices consistent ('mood' rather than 'emotion').

× Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because it helps me motivate myself and to do exciting things that are gonna happen about myself.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because it helps motivate me to do exciting things that will happen in my life.

'Helps me motivate myself' is awkward; use 'helps motivate me'. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps'. Avoid informal 'gonna'; use 'will'. 'About myself' is incorrect; use 'in my life'. Verb forms should be simplified for clarity.

× No, but I was once a member of choir but I stopped just for any reason and just to focus my free time and also just singing at my home.

✓ No, but I was once a member of a choir, though I stopped for personal reasons to focus on my free time and to sing at home.

Redundant 'but' and awkward phrasing 'just for any reason' should be replaced by 'for personal reasons'. Add article 'a' before 'choir'. 'Focus my free time' is incorrect; use 'focus on my free time'. Use parallel infinitives 'to focus' and 'to sing'.

× Yes, I often listen music when I'm doing the thing like washing dishes, doing chores and also doing my laundry because it helps me those boring stuff more enjoyable to do.

✓ Yes, I often listen to music when I'm doing things like washing dishes, doing chores, or doing my laundry because it makes those boring tasks more enjoyable.

Use the verb 'listen to' (preposition 'to' required). 'The thing like' is incorrect; use 'things like'. 'Helps me those boring stuff more enjoyable to do' is ungrammatical; say 'makes those boring tasks more enjoyable'. Use 'tasks' instead of 'stuff' for clarity and correct adjective placement.