Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. which you prefer overall or that it depends), avoid filler words like "umm", correct grammar (plural/singular, articles), and provide one specific supporting detail with a linking phrase. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: It depends on my mood. If I'm sad, I usually listen to slow, emotional songs to reflect on my feelings; however, when I'm happy I prefer upbeat pop music to keep my energy up.

제안: Use correct adjective forms and give a brief reason or example. Start with a clear affirmative sentence, then add a linked reason using words like "because" or "so". Avoid saying you feel "exciting" (that describes others).

예시: Yes, happy music makes me feel more energetic because the fast tempo and cheerful lyrics lift my mood and make me want to move or dance.

제안: Be precise about tense and details. Begin with a direct answer (Yes/No), then give a short specific detail: when you joined, what you did, and what you do now. Use correct expressions like "I used to be" or "I was once" instead of "at once".

예시: Yes. I was once a member of my school choir for two years, but now I practise singing on my own and occasionally take online lessons.

제안: Answer directly and organize the list with linking words. Replace repetitive phrases and use purpose expressions such as "to" or "so that" correctly. Be specific about what you do and how music helps you.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores, such as washing dishes or laundry, because it helps me relax and makes the tasks feel quicker and more enjoyable.

× It depends on my emotion.

✓ It depends on my mood.

The phrase 'depends on my emotion' is grammatically understandable but unnatural in English; 'mood' is the correct noun collocation with 'depends on' when referring to how someone feels. Suggestion: use 'mood' for natural present-tense statements about feelings.

× If I'm sad, I choose different kind of emotional music.

✓ If I'm sad, I choose different kinds of emotional music.

The noun phrase 'different kind' is singular while the context implies variety. Use plural 'different kinds' to match the sense of multiple types. Also 'choose' in present tense is fine.

× If I'm happy, I also like umm happy for the.

✓ If I'm happy, I also like happy music.

The original sentence is incomplete and uses filler 'umm' and an incorrect ending 'for the.' Replace with a simple present-tense statement 'I also like happy music' to fit the question context.

× Yes, so if I listen to happy music, it makes me more exciting and energetic.

✓ Yes, so if I listen to happy music, it makes me feel more excited and energetic.

'Exciting' describes something that causes excitement; to describe how the person feels, use the adjective 'excited'. Add 'feel' to clarify the state. This keeps present-tense and correctly places the adverbial 'more'.

× Yes, at once I am a member of choir, but now I'm just doing in my own business.

✓ Yes, I used to be a member of a choir, but now I'm just running my own business.

The original mixes present tense 'I am' with 'at once' and incorrect preposition 'in my own business.' Use the past-tense phrase 'used to be' to indicate a past activity, add article 'a' before 'choir', and use 'running my own business' as the natural collocation.

× Yes, I love listening music when I'm doing those things like doing my chores or washing the dishes or even washing my clothes.

✓ Yes, I love listening to music when I'm doing things like chores, washing the dishes, or even washing my clothes.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by its object: 'listening to music.' Also streamline repetition: remove extra 'doing' and use commas for list items. This keeps present-tense habitual action.

× I do listen music so that I can move freely with no distress.

✓ I do listen to music so that I can move freely without stress.

Again, use 'listen to music.' 'With no distress' is awkward; 'without stress' or 'without feeling stressed' is more natural. 'Do' as an auxiliary is acceptable for emphasis, but ensure correct preposition and collocation.