Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản, phát âm và mạch câu. Cụ thể: (1) Tránh từ thừa và tiếng ấу (uh). (2) Dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng: nêu rõ bạn thích nhạc vui vì lý do gì. (3) Sửa các cấu trúc sai như “I find pretty excited”, “I exciting to listen”, “a happy music”. (4) Giữ độ dài câu tối đa 3–4 câu, thêm chi tiết cụ thể về lúc nào bạn nghe nhạc để minh họa.

예시: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood. For example, I often play cheerful songs in the morning to start my day positively. Happy melodies and upbeat rhythms make me feel energetic and optimistic.

제안: Cải thiện sự mạch lạc và ngữ pháp khi bổ sung chi tiết. Cụ thể: (1) Tránh cấu trúc lộn xộn như “especially a bit songs are”. (2) Sử dụng liên từ để nối ý (for example, because, so). (3) Nêu rõ kết quả: nhạc vui khiến bạn làm gì khác hơn. (4) Dùng từ vựng chính xác như “upbeat” và “workout” trong ngữ cảnh đúng.

예시: Yes, definitely. For example, I usually listen to upbeat songs when I exercise because the fast tempo motivates me and helps me keep a strong pace. As a result, I feel more energetic and focused during my workouts.

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp đơn giản và rõ ràng hơn khi nói về dự định. Cụ thể: (1) Sửa lỗi số nhiều/đếm: “a music classes” → “music classes” hoặc “a music class”. (2) Thêm liên từ để nối hai ý (but / so). (3) Cung cấp thời gian hoặc lý do để trả lời thuyết phục hơn (when, because).

예시: I haven't taken any music classes yet, but I really enjoy singing, so I might try a singing class next year to improve my technique. I think lessons would help me learn proper breathing and pitch control.

제안: Cải thiện ngữ pháp, ý rõ ràng và lựa chọn từ chính xác. Cụ thể: (1) Tránh lỗi cấu trúc như “I fight is pretty distracting”. (2) Nói rõ về hoàn cảnh khác nhau và lý do (ví dụ: ngủ, học, làm việc). (3) Sử dụng liên từ để so sánh (however, but) và từ vựng đúng như “distracting” và “focus”.

예시: It depends. I usually listen to calming music while falling asleep because it helps me relax. However, I avoid pop music when studying because its lyrics distract me and make it hard to concentrate on reading.

× I have a big interest in happy music.

✓ I have a strong interest in happy music.

Use 'strong interest' or 'great interest' rather than 'big interest'. 'Big' is used for physical size; 'strong' or 'great' are natural collocations with 'interest'.

× I find uh, pretty excited.

✓ I feel pretty excited.

Use the stative verb 'feel' to describe an emotional state. 'Find' with an adjective is possible but usually means 'consider'; here 'feel' is more appropriate.

× I exciting to uh, listen to happy music and I find a happy music can push my mood up when I hear of them.

✓ I am excited to listen to happy music, and I find happy music can lift my mood when I hear it.

Several issues: need the verb 'be' + adjective ('am excited'), not 'I exciting'. Remove the article before 'happy music' unless specifying particular songs. Use 'lift my mood' or 'cheer me up' rather than 'push my mood up'. Use 'it' for 'music' (singular uncountable) not 'them'. Also remove 'of' after 'hear'.

× Definitely, especially a bit songs are.

✓ Definitely, especially upbeat songs are.

Original phrase 'a bit songs are' is ungrammatical. Use 'upbeat songs' or 'a bit faster songs' depending on meaning. Ensure adjective placement before noun.

× For instance, I usually listen to upbeat songs while doing exercise or working out is can push my mood up a lot.

✓ For instance, I usually listen to upbeat songs while exercising or working out; they can lift my mood a lot.

Remove 'is' and use gerund 'exercising' or 'working out'. Use a separate subject 'they' to refer to 'songs' and proper verb 'can lift'.

× I haven't yet but I also really like to sing so maybe I would try a music classes in the future.

✓ I haven't yet, but I really like to sing, so maybe I will try music classes in the future.

Use 'music classes' (no 'a' before plural). Use 'will' for future intention rather than 'would' in this context. Add commas for clarity.

× Well depends, I usually listen to music while sleeping, but I wouldn't listen to pop music while studying because I fight is pretty distracting and hard to focus on reading.

✓ Well, it depends. I usually listen to music while sleeping, but I wouldn't listen to pop music while studying because I find it pretty distracting and hard to focus on reading.

Add subject 'it' in 'it depends'. Replace 'I fight is' with 'I find it' (wrong verb and extra 'is'). Use 'find it distracting' and 'hard to focus on reading' is acceptable.