Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid filler sounds and minor grammar errors (e.g., "learn to music" → "listen to music").

예시: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood. For example, I usually listen to upbeat pop on my commute, which helps me feel more energetic and ready for the day.

제안: Reduce repetition and improve sentence structure. Begin with a direct answer, then give a clear reason and one specific example. Use linking words like "because" or "so" correctly, and avoid rhetorical questions that are unclear.

예시: Yes, happy music makes me more excited because it combats afternoon tiredness. For instance, when I feel drowsy after work, listening to upbeat pop immediately helps me concentrate and feel more energetic.

제안: Use past tense consistently and be specific about what you learned. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Replace vague phrases like "it can give me support" with concrete benefits (e.g., improving singing or learning instruments).

예시: Yes, I took music classes in elementary school because they were mandatory. In those lessons I learned basic piano and singing, and soft lullabies helped me relax and develop my sense of rhythm.

제안: Be specific about the activities and correct collocations. Provide a clear reason and a concise example. Avoid fillers and ungrammatical phrases like "randomly typing" and "more productive of completing a work."

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while I write emails or summarize reports because background music helps me concentrate. For example, low-volume instrumental tracks make it easier for me to finish my weekly summaries quickly.

× I actually prefer happy music because I like to learn to music and I feel like happy music can bring more energy to me.

✓ I actually prefer happy music because I like to listen to music and I feel like happy music can bring me more energy.

The verb 'listen' should be used instead of 'learn' and the correct pattern is 'listen to music'. Also 'bring more energy to me' is awkward; use 'bring me more energy' (correct object placement). Use of gerund not required here beyond 'listening' optional, but 'listen to' is the correct verb phrase.

× I usually listen to music on my way to work so it can also help me to wake up like in the morning.

✓ I usually listen to music on my way to work, so it can also help me wake up in the morning.

Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'help' ('help someone do' not 'help someone to do' is preferred but both are acceptable; here concise is better). Use 'in the morning' rather than 'like in the morning' for correct preposition and phrasing.

× Yes, happy music can make me more excited we especially in the afternoon.

✓ Yes, happy music can make me more excited, especially in the afternoon.

The original has an extra 'we' which is incorrect and breaks sentence structure. Removing 'we' and adding a comma before 'especially' fixes the clause placement.

× Why feel so tired after half day work?

✓ Why do I feel so tired after half a day's work?

Question needs auxiliary 'do' for present simple ('Why do I feel...'). Also 'half day work' should be 'half a day's work' to be idiomatic and possessive.

× So it can help me to stay focus and really energize me when I listen to pop music.

✓ So it can help me stay focused and really energize me when I listen to pop music.

Use the adjective 'focused' (or adverb 'focus' changed to 'focused') after 'stay' requires adjective. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'help'. 'Energize me' is fine.

× Umm yes, I have taken music classes because music classes is one of our mandatory classes during elementary school.

✓ Umm yes, I took music classes because music was one of our mandatory subjects during elementary school.

If referring to a past period (elementary school), simple past 'took' is more natural than present perfect. Also 'music classes is one' has subject-verb disagreement and repetition; better 'music was one of our mandatory subjects'—use singular/plural correctly and match tense.

× I really like to listen to some soft music while I was a child.

✓ I really liked to listen to soft music when I was a child.

When describing a habitual past action, use past tense 'liked' and 'when I was a child' rather than 'while'. Also 'some' is unnecessary; dropping it sounds more natural.

× Umm, it can give me support.

✓ Umm, it gave me support.

If referring to past experience as a child, change to past tense 'gave'. If meaning present, clarify 'it gives me support'. Match tense to context.

× Yes, I usually listen to music when I am doing some, uh, randomly typing or just summary a few things up 'cause I believe some music can help me stay focused and make me more productive of completing a work.

✓ Yes, I usually listen to music when I'm doing random typing or just summarizing a few things, because I believe music can help me stay focused and be more productive at completing work.

Multiple issues: 'randomly typing' should be 'random typing' or 'typing randomly'; 'summary a few things up' is incorrect—use 'summarizing a few things'. Replace informal ''cause' with 'because' in formal correction. 'More productive of completing a work' is ungrammatical; use 'be more productive at completing work' or 'more productive in completing tasks'. Also use contraction 'I'm' consistent and remove extra 'some' before 'music'.