Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details and a short example. Reduce redundancy (avoid repeating "lyrics" and "meaningful").

예시: I prefer sad music because its lyrics are often meaningful and relatable. For example, a popular song in my country called "Ghost" explores loss in a way that resonates with me, and its melody is also very memorable.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence and combine short sentences using linking words. Avoid filler phrases like 'you know' and vague terms. Give one clear reason and one brief example of a concert experience.

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me more excited because lively rhythms and strong drum beats energize me. For instance, when I attend band concerts, the upbeat tempo and crowd atmosphere make me feel carefree and enthusiastic.

제안: Answer directly and avoid hesitations. Provide a concise reason and one or two specific alternatives to classes. Replace fillers ('uh', 'what do you call that') with a clear term like 'music reviews'.

예시: No, I haven't taken music classes because they are quite expensive in my country. Instead, I practice singing at karaoke and I watch online music reviews to learn about songs and techniques.

제안: Good direct answer and clear example. Improve by tightening language (remove repetition 'than than') and use one linking phrase. Mention how specific types of tasks pair with music to add detail.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while working because it helps me stay productive and makes time pass quickly. For example, when writing reports I play upbeat pop music to keep my energy up and stay focused.

× most of the sad music I know have great lyrics or meaningful lyrics that I can relate to

✓ most of the sad music I know has great or meaningful lyrics that I can relate to

Subject 'most of the sad music' is treated as singular (music is an uncountable noun), so the verb should be 'has' not 'have'. Also 'great lyrics or meaningful lyrics' is repetitive; 'great or meaningful lyrics' is more natural. Suggestion: treat 'music' as uncountable and use singular verb agreement and simplify repetitive phrases.

× it's very catchy

✓ they're often very catchy

The pronoun 'it' refers to 'lyrics' or 'songs' which are plural or countable; using 'they're' (or explicitly 'songs are') makes number agreement correct. Also 'often' adds natural frequency. Suggestion: ensure pronoun agrees with the intended antecedent (song/songs/lyrics).

× Especially if it's a band music

✓ Especially if it's band music

The noun 'music' does not require the article 'a' here and 'band music' is used attributively; 'a band music' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: omit the article and use 'band music' or say 'music by a band'.

× That is also the reason why I go to a lot of concerts, because I can feel that excitement and that sort of escapism that everything around me is just, you know, happy

✓ That is also why I go to a lot of concerts: I can feel the excitement and a sense of escapism, as if everything around me is happy

Redundant phrasing 'the reason why' can be reduced to 'why'. Repetition 'that excitement and that sort of escapism' can be smoothed to 'the excitement and a sense of escapism'. 'As if' is more natural than 'that' for comparisons. Suggestion: simplify and use idiomatic connectors ('as if') and avoid repetitive 'that'.

× No, I haven't taken any music classes. It's not really a trend in our country because it's very expensive, but I go to a lot of karaoke, I sing a lot, and I also watch a lot of music

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes. It's not really a trend in our country because it's very expensive, but I go to a lot of karaoke events, I sing a lot, and I also watch a lot of music videos

'Karaoke' as an activity is fine, but 'go to a lot of karaoke' is awkward; use 'karaoke events' or 'karaoke nights'. 'Watch a lot of music' is vague; the correct collocation is 'music videos' or 'music programmes'. Suggestion: choose appropriate noun phrases ('karaoke events', 'music videos').

× Uh, what do you call that? Music reviews?

✓ Uh, what do you call that? Music reviews?

This sentence is acceptable conversationally; no grammatical correction needed. Included here only to note that the pronoun use is fine. Suggestion: none.

× it makes me more productive and the time flies faster rather than than not playing any music at all

✓ it makes me more productive and the time flies faster than if I don't play any music at all

Original uses incorrect comparative structure 'rather than than not playing'; duplicate 'than' and incorrect verb form. Use comparative 'faster than if I don't play any music' or 'compared to not playing any music at all'. Suggestion: use 'than if' + clause or 'compared to' + noun phrase.

× For example, when I am working and doing my reports, I prefer to listen to happy music so I can get that excitement

✓ For example, when I am working and doing my reports, I prefer to listen to happy music so I can feel that excitement

Verb 'get' is colloquial here; 'feel' is more appropriate for an emotional state. Tense is fine. Suggestion: use verbs that collocate with emotions ('feel excitement').