Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Keep your answer concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. For example, correct tense and word choice: say ‘I prefer happy music because it boosts my energy and motivation’ and give a specific example of when and why you listen to it.

예시: I prefer happy music because it boosts my energy and motivation. For example, I usually listen to upbeat pop songs on my commute to stay positive and focused, which helps me start the day in a good mood.

제안: Answer directly with a clear statement, then give a specific reason and example. Use correct verb forms and reduce hesitation words. Use linking words like ‘because’ and ‘for example’ to connect ideas. Be more precise about how music affects you (tempo, lyrics, rhythm).

예시: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because upbeat tempos and positive lyrics increase my energy. For example, I play lively tracks when I go running, and the fast rhythm helps me keep a quicker pace and stay motivated.

제안: Give a clear, correct description of your experience. Use past simple or present perfect appropriately and avoid unclear words. Mention specific skills you learned and one concrete detail (e.g. technique, pieces studied, or duration). Keep it to two or three sentences maximum.

예시: Yes. I took violin lessons for three years starting when I was eleven. During lessons I learned how to hold the bow and fingers correctly, practiced scales and simple pieces, and learned some basic music history.

제안: Answer directly, then give specific activities and reasons. Use correct collocations (e.g., ‘listen to music while commuting’), correct possessive and contractions, and avoid unclear words. Provide one clear example of a song type and how it helps you.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while commuting and running because pop music has catchy melodies and energetic beats. For instance, upbeat pop songs help me stay alert on the bus and keep my pace steady when I run.

× I prefer happy music because it keeps my energy and motivation up.

✓ I prefer happy music because it keeps my energy and motivation up.

No grammatical change needed; sentence correctly uses the present simple to express a general preference and habitual effect.

× For example, listen to a bit songs while commuting.

✓ For example, I listen to a few songs while commuting.

Original sentence lacks a subject and uses incorrect quantifier 'a bit' with countable noun 'songs'. Replace with subject 'I' and correct quantifier 'a few'. Use present simple 'listen' for habitual action.

× Helps me stay positive and focus on come focus on when I commute.

✓ They help me stay positive and focus when I commute.

Original sentence is a fragment missing a subject and contains repetition 'come focus on'. Use plural pronoun 'They' (referring to songs) and verb 'help' to agree with plural subject; remove redundancy.

× Yes, happy music uh make me feel more energetic umm by either a bit lyrics and a fast tempo lip mood.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel more energetic because of catchy lyrics and a fast tempo.

Subject 'happy music' is singular collective, so verb must be 'makes' (third person singular). Original has unclear phrases 'either a bit lyrics' and 'lip mood'; replace with clear noun phrase 'catchy lyrics' and 'a fast tempo' to explain cause.

× For example of I often umm listening lively tracks while commuting and running, it's helped me focus and more energetic.

✓ For example, I often listen to lively tracks while commuting and running; they help me focus and make me more energetic.

Original used incorrect verb form 'listening' after 'I often' and mismatched tense 'it's helped'. Use present simple 'listen' for habitual action, and plural pronoun 'they' with verbs 'help' and 'make' to describe effects.

× Yes, I have taken a violin lesson for three years since I was 11 and uh, I learn how to uh, hold instruments and bowl robbery are and uh, I usually learn a a little, no glitch knowledge about the history instruction.

✓ Yes, I took violin lessons for three years starting when I was 11, and I learned how to hold the instrument and basic bowing technique; I also learned a little about the history of the instrument.

Original mixes present perfect 'have taken' with 'for three years since I was 11' which needs simple past 'took' or present perfect with continuing timeframe; since period is finished, use past tense. Also correct several word errors: 'violin lesson' -> 'violin lessons', 'hold instruments' -> 'hold the instrument', 'bowl robbery are' -> 'bowing technique', and clarify 'history instruction' -> 'history of the instrument'.

× Yes, I often listen while listen to music while commuting and running and I usually refer pop music because of it's catchy and earthlitting lyrics.

✓ Yes, I often listen to music while commuting and running, and I usually prefer pop music because it's catchy and energetic.

Original has repetition 'listen while listen', incorrect verb 'refer' instead of 'prefer', and awkward phrase 'earthlitting lyrics'. Remove duplication, use 'prefer', and replace 'earthlitting' with 'energetic' to describe the effect. 'It's' is acceptable contraction for 'it is'.

× It's make me feel energetic for instance a bit burp sounds.

✓ It makes me feel energetic; for instance, upbeat sounds help with that.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'It's' (it is) with base verb 'make' is incorrect — use 'makes'. Original 'a bit burp sounds' is unclear and informal; replace with 'upbeat sounds' to convey musical elements that increase energy.