Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise, directly answer then give one clear supporting detail. Avoid filler words (uh, well, obviously) and awkward phrasing. Use linking words like 'because' or 'when' to connect ideas. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "uplifts" instead of "delivers my mood").

예시: I prefer either sad or happy music depending on my mood. For example, when I feel reflective I choose sad songs because their lyrics help me process emotions, whereas on energetic days I pick happy music to uplift my spirits.

제안: Answer directly then give one specific reason. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement and adjective use) and avoid repeating words. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to explain effect. Aim for clear, natural sentences.

예시: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms and positive lyrics lift my energy. As a result, I feel more motivated and have an easier time getting through the day.

제안: Be concise and clear about past experience and future plans. Avoid strange phrases (‘in this generation as a teenager girl’, ‘happy or podcast’). Use simple, correct tense and vocabulary. Provide one specific instrument or genre you want to learn and why.

예시: No, I haven't taken formal music classes, but I would like to. I am interested in learning guitar because I enjoy strumming along to pop songs and it seems useful for songwriting.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use one or two specific examples of activities and explain how music helps using linking words like 'while' or 'because'. Remove fillers and redundant phrases to sound natural.

예시: Yes, I often listen to music while studying or exercising because it helps me concentrate during study sessions and boosts my energy during workouts.

× I do prefer sad or happy music, depends on my mood.

✓ I prefer sad or happy music; it depends on my mood.

Use simple present 'prefer' rather than emphatic 'do prefer' here; also sentence fragment 'depends on my mood' needs subject 'it' and a connector. Use a semicolon or conjunction to join clauses.

× When I'm in a sad mood, well obviously I tend to prefer sad music over happy music, while happy music, uh, delivers my mood with the energetic and makes me feel more excited.

✓ When I'm in a sad mood, I tend to prefer sad music, while happy music is energetic and makes me feel more excited.

Remove filler words and correct phrase 'delivers my mood with the energetic' which is ungrammatical. Use 'is energetic' to describe happy music and 'makes me feel' for result. Maintain present tense consistency.

× Of course, happy music makes me feel more excited and happy at the same time. It also help to keep my mood light and to give me more lighter day to get on.

✓ Of course, happy music makes me feel more excited and happy at the same time. It also helps to keep my mood light and gives me a lighter day to get through.

Subject-verb agreement: singular subject 'It' requires 'helps' not 'help'. 'Gives me a lighter day' is more natural than 'to give me more lighter day'; remove extra 'more' and use 'a' article. Use 'get through' rather than 'get on' for completing the day.

× Unfortunately, I haven't taken any music classes in this generation as a teenager girl, but I would love to take music classes and I am willing to learn.

✓ Unfortunately, I haven't taken any music classes when I was a teenager, but I would love to take music classes and I am willing to learn.

Time reference: 'in this generation as a teenager girl' is awkward. Use 'when I was a teenager' with present perfect 'haven't taken' to indicate up to now. Also avoid redundant 'girl' since 'teenager' implies it.

× If that's the case then I would love to play or to learn happy or podcast and an exciting genre.

✓ If that's the case, I would love to learn to play cheerful or upbeat pieces, or study an exciting genre such as pop or podcast music.

Original sentence is unclear and has incorrect word choice ('happy or podcast'). Clarify intention: 'learn to play cheerful or upbeat pieces' and give examples; add comma after the conditional clause for correct punctuation.

× Do you listen to music while doing other things?

✓ Do you listen to music while doing other things?

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. 'While doing other things' properly uses the preposition 'while' to indicate simultaneous actions.

× Definitely, it gives me much motivation from what I am doing and it gives me also excitement from what I am doing and it gives me something that uh, will excite my soul, my energy and of course the things that I'm, I am doing itself.

✓ Definitely, it motivates me while I am doing things and gives me excitement; it energizes my soul and the activities I am doing.

Reduce repetition and use correct verb forms: 'motivates me' instead of 'gives me much motivation from what I am doing'. Avoid redundant phrasing 'the things that I'm, I am doing itself.' Use present simple/progressive appropriately for ongoing habits.