Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は意味が伝わりますが、文法や表現の自然さが不足しています。具体的には“feel relaxing”は不自然で“feel relaxed”が正しく、”be satisfied with music”も簡潔に“enjoy it”などに置き換えられます。また、同じ意味の語が繰り返されているため簡潔にまとめ、リンク語（for example の後の説明）は現在の習慣や過去の経験かを明確に区別してください。最大5文に収め、主語と時制に注意して話しましょう。

예시: I prefer happy music because it helps me feel relaxed and cheerful. For example, when I choose music to lift my mood, I usually pick upbeat songs that make me smile and sing along.

제안: 内容はわかりますが、文法ミスと不自然な表現が多いです。“don't remind of the sad things”は“doesn't remind me of sad things”に、”musics”は不可算名詞なので“music”に直してください。また、“it leads to my mental health to. Maintain.”は意味が不明瞭なので、“it helps my mental health”のように明確に表現してください。接続詞（because, for example）を適切に使い、1～3の短い文で答えると良いです。

예시: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because it doesn't remind me of sad things. For example, when I listen to upbeat music I want to dance, and that boosts my mood and helps my mental health.

제안: 文の内容が混乱していて、固有名詞や時制の使い方が不明確です。“Durham crosses”が何を指すか不明なので、具体的な名前や場所を正確に言いましょう。また、“when I was at junior high school students”は文法的に誤りで、“when I was in junior high school”が正しいです。“Study more and more.”のような断片的な文は避け、なぜそれが役立ったかを理由と結果でつなげてください。

예시: Yes, I took drumming classes when I was in junior high school because our band needed practice for a concert. I attended drum school once a week, which helped me improve my timing and technique for performances.

제안: いくつかの文法ミス（現在形・動名詞の使い方）と語順の問題があります。“I listening”は“I listen”に、“make me better concentration”は“helps me concentrate better”に直してください。また、具体例は良いですが時制を統一して、理由と結果を論理的に結びつけましょう。

예시: Yes, I usually listen to music while walking or studying because it helps me concentrate better. For example, when I walk to school I put on music to block out traffic noise and conversations around me.

× I prefer happy music because by listening to happy music, I can feel relaxing and I can be satisfied with music.

✓ I prefer happy music because by listening to happy music, I can feel relaxed and satisfied with the music.

'Relaxing' is an adjective that describes something that causes relaxation (e.g., 'a relaxing song'), while 'relaxed' describes a persons state. Use 'relaxed' to say how you feel. Also, 'satisfied with music' is awkward; 'satisfied with the music' is clearer. Suggestion: replace 'feel relaxing' with 'feel relaxed' and 'be satisfied with music' with 'be satisfied with the music'.

× For example, when I started listening to music, I usually listen to only happy music to enjoy.

✓ For example, when I start listening to music, I usually listen only to happy music to enjoy myself.

Mixing past ('started') and present ('usually listen') creates tense inconsistency. The surrounding context is general habit, so use present simple: 'start' and 'usually listen'. Also change word order to 'listen only to happy music' and add 'myself' after 'enjoy' for clarity.

× Yes, happy music makes me excited because it's not stressful and I don't remind of the sad things.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me excited because it is not stressful and it doesn't remind me of sad things.

'Don't remind of' is ungrammatical. Use 'doesn't remind me of' (verb + object + 'of'). Also 'sad things' is fine without 'the'. Maintain present tense: 'doesn't remind me'.

× For example, when I listen to the happy musics, I want to dance and it leads to my mental health to. Maintain.

✓ For example, when I listen to happy music, I want to dance and it helps to maintain my mental health.

'Musics' is incorrect; 'music' is uncountable and does not take a plural. Omit 'the' before 'happy music' unless specific. The phrase 'it leads to my mental health to. Maintain.' is disordered; use 'it helps to maintain my mental health' for correct meaning and word order.

× Yes, I have taken Durham crosses when I was at junior high school students because I needed to practice drums to show our performance in the concert.

✓ Yes, I took Durham Crosses when I was in junior high school because I needed to practice drums for our concert performance.

Mixing present perfect 'have taken' with past time 'when I was' is inconsistent; use simple past 'took' for a finished past action. 'Junior high school students' is incorrect; use 'in junior high school'. 'Durham crosses' capitalization/format adjusted to 'Durham Crosses' if it is a proper noun. 'To show our performance in the concert' is awkward; use 'for our concert performance'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense and correct prepositional phrases.

× I went to our drum school once a week and I practiced. Study more and more.

✓ I went to our drum school once a week and I practiced a lot to improve.

'Study more and more' is a fragment and shifts tense and construction. Combine into one past sentence showing purpose: 'I practiced a lot to improve.' Ensure complete sentence with subject and verb.

× That was very helpful to improve my drumming skills.

✓ That was very helpful for improving my drumming skills.

Use 'helpful for improving' or 'helpful in improving' to correctly link 'helpful' with a gerund. The original 'helpful to improve' is non-idiomatic. Maintain past tense 'was' because referring to past experience.

× Yes, usually I listening to music during walking or studying because listening to music make me better concentration.

✓ Yes, usually I listen to music while walking or studying because listening to music helps me concentrate better.

'I listening' is incorrect; after auxiliary 'do' we'd say 'I listen', so use simple present 'I listen' for habit. Use 'while walking' not 'during walking'. 'Make me better concentration' is ungrammatical; use 'helps me concentrate better' ('help' + object + verb infinitive or 'help' + gerund). Maintain subject-verb agreement: 'listening... helps'.

× For example, when I started walking, I also started listening to music to avoid listening to noises from cars and people's conversation.

✓ For example, when I start walking, I also start listening to music to avoid hearing noises from cars and people's conversations.

Tense should match general habit: use present simple 'start' rather than past 'started'. 'Avoid listening to noises' is awkward; use 'avoid hearing noises'. 'People's conversation' should be plural 'people's conversations' or 'people talking'. Suggestion: use present tense for habitual actions and correct collocations ('hear noises', 'people's conversations').