Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural and concise by starting with a clear topic sentence, then adding one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition and grammatical slips (e.g. "express or matches"). Use a linking phrase to connect idea and example.

예시: I usually choose music that matches my mood. For example, when I’m happy I listen to upbeat pop to celebrate, but when I’m sad I prefer slower, acoustic songs because they help me process my feelings.

제안: Answer directly, then give a clear reason with one specific example. Keep it within four sentences and use linking words like 'however' or 'instead' to show contrast. Say whether happy music excites you overall, then explain why your preference affects that.

예시: Sometimes happy music makes me feel more excited, but not always. Instead, I usually prefer rap and hip-hop because the lyrics are more relatable, so upbeat pop doesn’t have the same effect on me; for instance, a lively trap track can get me energized because of its rhythm and punchy beats.

× If I'm happy I usually go for happy music and if I'm sad I switch to sad songs because music is a way to express or matches my emotions.

✓ If I'm happy I usually go for happy music and if I'm sad I switch to sad songs because music is a way to express or match my emotions.

The verb following 'or' should agree structurally with the earlier verb phrase 'to express' and use the base form 'match' (infinitive without to) to form a parallel structure: 'to express or match.' Using 'matches' breaks the parallelism and is incorrect after 'to.' Improve by keeping verbs parallel: 'to express or match.'

× Well sometimes because my favorite genre is rap hip hop, not happy pop.

✓ Well, sometimes, because my favorite genre is rap/hip-hop, not happy pop.

This sentence needs commas to separate the introductory adverb 'Well' and the phrase 'sometimes' for clarity; 'rap hip hop' is better written as 'rap/hip-hop' or 'rap and hip-hop.' The tense is present and correct, but punctuation and word form cause clarity issues. Improve by adding commas and using a clearer form for the genre name.

× So I'll definitely say if I listen to trap songs, it's more lyrical and it's more relatable to me.

✓ So I'd definitely say that when I listen to trap songs, they are more lyrical and more relatable to me.

Mixing 'I'll' (future) with a general habitual statement is awkward. For habitual preferences, use conditional 'I'd' or present simple. Also, 'it' is incorrect referring to plural 'trap songs'; use 'they are.' Change 'if' to 'when' for habitual situations and ensure subject-verb agreement. Improve by using 'they are' and a consistent tense: 'I'd definitely say that when I listen to trap songs, they are more lyrical and more relatable to me.'