Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect word order (e.g., “I all I listen”). Use precise vocabulary (e.g., “uplifted,” “cheerful”) and keep to 2–4 sentences.

예시: I prefer happy music because it usually uplifts my mood and helps me relax. For example, upbeat pop songs make me feel more energetic and cheerful after a long day. I do listen to sad music occasionally, but mostly I choose happy songs to boost my spirits.

제안: Avoid contradictions and tighten your answer. Begin with a direct yes/no and a topic sentence, then add one specific reason and a brief example. Reduce repetition (e.g., “these these”), choose appropriate collocations (e.g., “upbeat tracks” instead of “beat songs”), and limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes — upbeat tracks usually make me excited and energetic. For instance, when I hear a fast-tempo song I often start dancing, which helps me unwind and forget the stress of a harsh day.

× I prefer happy music. I listen to sad music sometimes, but most of the time I all I listen to happy music.

✓ I prefer happy music. I listen to sad music sometimes, but most of the time I listen to happy music.

This sentence contains a repeated phrase 'I all I listen' which is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Remove the redundant words to make the sentence grammatically correct and clear. Suggestion: read aloud to detect accidental repetitions and simplify the clause to 'most of the time I listen to happy music.'

× Happy music gives me a mood, good mood, cheerful, makes me much happier and relax my inner soul whenever I listen to them.

✓ Happy music puts me in a good, cheerful mood, makes me much happier, and relaxes my inner soul whenever I listen to it.

Multiple errors: awkward adjective/adverb arrangement and incorrect verb forms. This falls under incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs (ID 13) and sentence structure (ID 26). 'Gives me a mood, good mood, cheerful' is ungrammatical; use 'puts me in a good, cheerful mood.' Verb agreement: 'relax my inner soul' should be 'relaxes my inner soul' to match singular subject 'Happy music.' Also use singular pronoun 'it' for 'music.' Suggestion: restructure the sentence into parallel parts and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct pronoun reference.

× Definitely happy music always makes me very excited.

✓ Definitely, happy music always makes me very excited.

Minor punctuation/flow issue and emphasis; the grammar error is not strong but ensure natural phrasing. This is related to third person singular usage (ID 2) because the verb 'makes' correctly uses -s for third person; keep it. Suggestion: add a comma after 'Definitely' for natural speech rhythm and clarity.

× Whenever I start those beat songs, I always start dancing.

✓ Whenever I hear those upbeat songs, I always start dancing.

'Start those beat songs' is awkward and ungrammatical (ID 26). Replace with 'hear those upbeat songs' or 'hear those songs with a strong beat.' Also 'beat' as a noun needs modification; 'upbeat' is the correct adjective. Suggestion: use appropriate verb for perception (hear) and correct adjective ('upbeat').

× So these these happy songs are always good for my peace and my comfort and they always give me a good relaxation after a harsh day.

✓ So these happy songs are always good for my peace and comfort, and they always help me relax after a hard day.

This sentence has a repeated word 'these these' and awkward noun phrase 'give me a good relaxation.' The main issue is incorrect use of pronouns/nouns and awkward collocation (ID 12 and ID 13). 'Give me a good relaxation' is unnatural; use 'help me relax.' 'Harsh day' is better as 'hard day.' Suggestion: remove repetition, use natural collocations ('peace and comfort,' 'help me relax,' 'hard day') and maintain parallel structure.