Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and one brief example. Avoid repetition and fix verb tense and word choice (e.g., 'listened' -> 'listen'). Use linking words like 'however' correctly.

예시: I prefer happy music to sad music because it lifts my mood. For example, when I feel stressed after work, I play upbeat pop songs which help me relax and feel more energetic.

제안: Improve grammar and word choice, and be specific. Begin with a clear direct answer, then give one or two concise, specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'also'). Avoid informal phrasings like 'gonna' and unclear words like 'truthful music'.

예시: Yes, happy music makes me feel excited. For example, when upbeat dance tracks play at parties I start dancing, and lively rhythms give me more energy to socialize and have fun.

× I prefer happy music to sad music because happy music always lifts my mood every time I listen to it.

✓ I prefer happy music to sad music because happy music always lifts my mood whenever I listen to it.

The sentence used 'every time' which is acceptable but 'whenever' sounds more natural here; this is a minor present-tense usage/style improvement to match habitual action. Use 'whenever' for repeated occasions. Suggestion: use 'whenever' or 'every time I listen to it' consistently.

× However, I do listen to sad music sometimes, but mostly the songs that I listened are happy music.

✓ However, I do listen to sad music sometimes, but mostly the songs that I listen to are happy music.

The clause 'that I listened' incorrectly uses the past tense while the rest of the sentence refers to habitual action in the present. Change to present simple 'that I listen to' to maintain consistent tense. Also keep 'do listen' for emphasis is fine.

× Indeed, happy music always bring joys in me.

✓ Indeed, happy music always brings me joy.

Subject 'happy music' is third-person singular and requires 'brings' (subject-verb agreement). 'Bring' is present simple plural form; replace with 'brings'. Also 'joys in me' is unidiomatic: use 'me joy' or 'joy to me'. Combine corrections: 'brings me joy'.

× For example, I could dance while listening to truthful music, and every time I go to the party, the upbeat types of music always, always gonna bring the vibes.

✓ For example, I can dance while listening to upbeat music, and every time I go to a party, upbeat music always brings good vibes.

Multiple issues: 'could' suggests past ability; use 'can' for general ability (present). 'Truthful music' is incorrect adjective choice; likely intended 'upbeat music'. 'The upbeat types of music' is wordy; use 'upbeat music'. 'Gonna' is informal and nonstandard in speaking-test writing; use 'will' or present simple 'brings' for habitual situations. Also ensure subject-verb agreement: 'upbeat music' requires 'brings'. 'Bring the vibes' is informal; use 'bring good vibes' or 'bring a good atmosphere'.