Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your answer more grammatical, concise and varied in vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler words and repetition (e.g., “all kind of stress”). Use correct verb forms and articles.

예시: I prefer happy music. It helps me stay calm and boosts my mood, especially when I’m stressed after a long day. For example, upbeat songs with positive lyrics quickly lift my spirits and make it easier to focus on tasks.

제안: Answer directly and avoid vague phrases. Use clear conditional language if you want to generalize, then contrast with your personal experience. Reduce repetition and correct tense and article errors.

예시: It depends on the person, but for me happy music does make me feel more excited. When I listen to lively songs, my energy rises and I feel motivated—for instance, I often play upbeat tracks before exercising to get pumped.

× Uh, actually I prefer happy music because it's a very helpful for me because I can stay happy and calm in my life.

✓ Uh, actually I prefer happy music because it's very helpful for me and I can stay happy and calm in my life.

The phrase 'a very helpful' incorrectly uses the indefinite article 'a' before an adjective that needs a noun to modify. Use 'very helpful' without 'a' when referring to the concept in general. Also, combining the two clauses with 'and' improves sentence flow and avoids repetition of 'because'. Suggestion: remove 'a' and connect clauses with 'and' or restructure: '...because it is very helpful and helps me stay happy and calm.'

× And I also reduce my all kind of stress with the help of, uh, listening happy music.

✓ And I also reduce all kinds of stress by listening to happy music.

The phrase 'my all kind of stress' is incorrect word order and quantifier choice. Use 'all kinds of stress' to indicate multiple types of stress. Use 'by listening to' rather than 'with the help of, listening' for a natural verb-preposition pattern. Also include the preposition 'to' after 'listening'.

× I think it's depend on person to person.

✓ I think it depends from person to person.

The verb 'depend' needs third person singular agreement 'depends' for the subject 'it'. Also the common phrase is 'from person to person' rather than 'on person to person'. Suggestion: use 'it depends from person to person' or 'it depends on the person'.

× But if if I speak my suggestion when I listen, when I listening a music happy music, I feel very excited and happy because I reduce my all kind of stress.

✓ But if I give my opinion: when I listen to happy music, I feel very excited and happy because it reduces my stress.

This sentence has redundancy ('if if'), incorrect verb forms ('I listen' vs 'I listening'), awkward word order ('a music happy music'), and incorrect quantifier 'my all kind of stress'. Correct by removing duplicate words, using 'listen to' for the verb phrase, placing adjectives before nouns ('happy music'), and using 'it reduces my stress' to refer back to music. Also 'give my opinion' is clearer than 'speak my suggestion'.

× when I listening a music happy music, I feel very excited and happy because I reduce my all kind of stress.

✓ when I listen to happy music, I feel very excited and happy because it reduces my stress.

The verb 'listening' is the -ing form and requires an auxiliary (e.g., 'I am listening') or should be the base form 'listen' after 'when I'. Use 'listen to' plus the noun. Also replace 'I reduce my all kind of stress' with 'it reduces my stress' or 'I reduce my stress' depending on meaning; 'it reduces my stress' clarifies cause-effect. Suggest practicing verb forms after time clauses: 'when I + subject + base verb'.