Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 主題に直接答えは出ていますが、文法、語彙の誤用や意味が曖昧で、情報の整理が不十分です。まずは簡潔で文法的に正しい主題文を作る練習をしましょう。また、具体例を述べる際はアーティスト名やジャンルを正確にし、補足情報は一貫性のある文でつなげることが重要です。練習方法の具体例：1) 主題文（I prefer happy music.）を作り、2) 理由（because…）を一文で述べ、3) 具体例（for example…）を付ける。連結語（because, so, for example, and）を使って論理的につなげる練習をしてください。

예시: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me feel energetic. For example, I often listen to upbeat pop and rock by artists like Imagine Dragons when I need motivation. This kind of music is fun and reminds me of my teenage years, so I enjoy it a lot.

제안: 答えは明確ですが、語彙や表現の誤用（"first temple", "bread livery"など）と不自然な語順があります。音楽の特徴を述べる際は正しい音楽用語（major key, upbeat tempo）を使い、具体的な行動や効果を結びつけて述べましょう。練習方法の具体例：1) 主題文（Yes, it does.）2) 理由（because + 正しい語彙）3) 具体例（When I...）という三段構成で、一文あたり1つの主張に絞る練習をしてください。

예시: Yes, happy music does make me more excited. Upbeat tempos and major-key melodies usually boost my mood and energy. For example, I often play lively pop tracks when I'm getting ready to go out because they make me feel more confident and energetic.

× Yes, I like happy music, for example Eric rock music, which is fun and I has reasoned it since. Junior high school student. I have brother who rescinded.

✓ Yes, I like happy music, for example Eric's rock music, which is fun and I have liked it since junior high school. I have a brother who moved away.

The sentence contains several pronoun and related grammatical issues. 'Eric rock music' needs a possessive ('Eric's') to show ownership. 'I has reasoned it since' is incorrect: the correct verb is 'have liked' to express continuing preference (present perfect), and 'since junior high school' should be part of the same clause. 'Junior high school student' is a fragment; it should be integrated as 'since junior high school'. 'I have brother who rescinded' has missing article 'a' and 'rescinded' is the wrong verb; likely intended 'moved away' or 'left' to describe a brother who no longer lives here. Suggestions: use correct possessive forms, use present perfect 'have liked' for actions that began in the past and continue, include necessary articles ('a brother'), and choose appropriate verbs ('moved away') rather than 'rescinded'.

× Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited. It's first temple and major key melodies tend to boost my mood and energy levels.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited. Its bright tempo and major-key melodies tend to boost my mood and energy levels.

There are article and word-choice issues. 'It's first temple' misuses contraction and wrong nouns: should be 'Its bright tempo' (possessive its, adjective bright, noun tempo). Also 'major key melodies' should be hyphenated as 'major-key melodies' when used as a compound adjective. Suggestions: use the possessive its (not it's), correct vocabulary ('tempo' not 'temple'), and hyphenate compound adjectives before a noun.

× For example, I often bread livery pop tracks when I'm getting ready to go out because they help me more.

✓ For example, I often play lively pop tracks when I'm getting ready to go out because they help me feel better.

Verb choice and -ing form issues: 'bread livery' appears to be misspellings of 'play lively'. The verb 'play' is required to indicate listening to tracks. 'Lively' is the correct adjective. 'They help me more' is vague; better to say 'they help me feel better' or 'they help me get more energized.' Suggestions: choose the correct verb ('play'), correct adjective ('lively'), and use a clear complement ('feel better').