Music— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence: state your preference simply (e.g. "I prefer happy music"). Then give one or two specific reasons with linking words (e.g. "because" and "so") and avoid hesitation sounds. Keep to under five sentences and use clearer vocabulary (e.g. "calm me down", "refresh my mind").

예시: I prefer happy music because it helps me calm down when I'm upset. For example, upbeat songs lift my mood quickly, so I can think more clearly and start fresh.

제안: Answer directly and provide a clear reason with a linking phrase like "because". Use specific descriptions (e.g. "upbeat rhythm", "lively melodies", "energetic atmosphere") and avoid vague words. Limit to two or three sentences and remove fillers ("uh", "then").

예시: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because its upbeat rhythm and lively melodies boost my energy. As a result, I feel more cheerful and motivated to do things.

× Happy verse that music because can help people to, uh, when emotional can listen to music and then will make me climb down.

✓ I prefer happy music because it can help people when they are emotional; they can listen to music and it helps me calm down.

The original sentence has multiple issues: missing subject-verb structure, incorrect verb forms, and unclear phrasing. Relevant problem types include verb in the present participle (10) and sentence structure (26). I corrected the subject 'I' and 'it' for 'music', used 'prefer' for choice, added 'they are' to complete the clause 'when they are emotional', and changed 'will make me climb down' to 'helps me calm down' (correct idiomatic expression). Suggestion: always include explicit subjects and conjugate verbs to match them; use common collocations like 'calm down'. Note: This suggestion follows the allowed problem types by fixing present participle and overall sentence structure.

× And then I think, uh, that music will be mix some, uh, clear the brain and then make some new start.

✓ I think that music can clear the mind and help you make a fresh start.

The original uses incorrect verb forms ('will be mix'), unclear nouns ('clear the brain'), and vague pronouns. The main issues are incorrect verb forms (could be classified under present participle or past participle) and pronoun/noun choice (12). I changed 'will be mix' to 'can clear' (correct verb + modal) and 'the brain' to the natural phrase 'the mind', and 'make some new start' to 'make a fresh start'. Suggestion: choose idiomatic noun phrases and match verbs to subjects; use modals like 'can' for ability/possibility.

× And then I think that one.

✓ That's what I think.

This short fragment lacks clarity and natural structure. It is a sentence structure error (26). I replaced it with a concise, natural phrase 'That's what I think.' Suggestion: use complete phrases that clearly reference the previous idea.

× Yes, I think happy music make me feel more excited because, uh, the music and then the proof and then we'll higher and higher and then the, uh, atmosphere is will be, uh, very high or happy excited and then I think, uh, happy music is makes some the.

✓ Yes, I think happy music makes me feel more excited because the music's tempo and beats get higher and the atmosphere becomes very energetic; I think happy music does that.

Main errors: subject-verb agreement ('music make' should be 'music makes')—third person singular issue (2) and sentence structure problems (26). I corrected 'make' to 'makes', clarified causes ('tempo and beats get higher'), replaced awkward 'proof' with 'beats' and 'will be' with 'becomes', and fixed 'is makes some the' to 'does that'. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with singular subjects and use clear noun phrases ('tempo', 'beats', 'atmosphere').